Post by LUNI_TUNZ on Jun 22, 2014 12:21:56 GMT -4
"We'll be able to see it from on top of the hill" says an excited Serena. Why, could it be? Have the twerps finally made it to the nigh mythical Cyllage City after all this time? Serena sniffs the air and tells us of the ocean. And her guide tells her of how beautiful Ambrette Town is... Ambrette Town, which is most definitely not Cyllage City.
FUCK!
Ash releases Froakie, and Clemont reminds us that Froakie is Water-Type, and therefore loves being around random bodies of water. Serena has somewhere she wants to go. Please say Cyllage City!
Ambrette Aquarium.
FUCK!
It sounds like fun to Ash, so he wants to go too.
And thus the twerps decide to go. Go, where? Why they're...
The secretary welcomes the twerps to the aquarium and tells them it's the only place to see many different types of Water-Type Pokémon. Bonnie loses her gourd over the lady and declares her a keeper and proposes Clemont's hand in marriage. Assuredly his OKCupid profile hasn't seen many hits, so Bonnie's going back to the direct approach. Clemont drags her away with his Aipom Ass Arm (AAA) as the secretary nervously waves goodbye to the weirdoes.
The twerps marvel at the Pokémon, and Serena gets so caught up she actually calls a Gorebyss - the monstrous , yet admittedly less hideous of the Clamperl evolutions - cute. Bonnie is spooked by a Relicanth. The twerps also admire Wooper, and Clamperl, half of which will unfortunately evolve into horrifying Huntail, and Lanturn.
and...
AND A STUNFISK!
The twerps continue to be amazed at the Water-types, because you never get to see them from this side. Clemont surmises that whoever designed this place must know a lot about Water-type Pokémon. Like, they like to swim. Wow, that must have been hard to figure out.
Later some woman walks into an area with multiple Piplup tailing her, one running up to greet Bonnie as Ash reminiscences over Dawn's glorious bastard of a Piplup. Finally the twerps walts through the Magikarp room, and Ash decides for the first time today after seeing multiple Pokémon to pull out his Pokédex. "Magikarp, the Fish Pokémon. Because all Magikarp seem to do is splash around, some consider them weak, but they're actually a hearty Pokémon that can survive in water no matter how dirty it is."
A man with an oddly silent Chatot on his shoulder tells the twerps that many Magikarp live in the bay, he also tells them that Water-type Pokémon are the second most common. He then shows them a sad little golden Magikarp statue outside. It supposed to be a statue of a giant Golden Magikarp, that looks like the saddest Mario Kart trophy in existence. He then directs the twerps to the Aquarium's curator and pisses off. The curator who is not currently curating the aquarium and is instead fishing.
Out of nowhere to save this hopeless episode is Team Rocket. Meowth wants to steal the statue, but Jessie and James figure that it's probably just gold-plated, and therefore not worth their time. They figure that their must be a real giant Golden Magikarp out there, and they have to catch it for themselves.
Meanwhile, the truant Aquarium Curator has grabbed a BIIIG one. As he pulls in his massive haul, he gets slapped in the face with a tiny piece of seaweed. I don't know how he's going to justify his long absences to his investors now. He introduces himself to the strangers as Rodman, no confirmation if this is a surname or given name, or if "Dennis" fits in there anywhere.
He also introduces them to his Pokémon, Clauncher, a blue Crayfish type Pokémon, who probably works with an intergalactic space delivery crew as their Doctor, despite being poorly versed in Human anatomy. "Clauncher, the Water Gun Pokémon. Clauncher fires compressed water from the arm gun on it's right claw and damages foes with the impact from the water."
My explanation was better.
He also tells the twerps that he's trying to catch the real golden Magikarp right now, instead of curating the aquarium he's supposed to be running. He tells them about the local legend which tells of a free-diver being shocked by a Starmie. Hasn't anyone told Starmie not to play with electricity under water? Anyway, the Starmie shocked the free-diver without murdering all the other fish in the sea somehow, and left the free-diver to his death. When out of nowhere (possibly the water) a giant golden Magikarp saves the guy.
Apparently the giant Golden Magikarp has been spotted in this very area. Yeah, and I saw Bigfoot in my backyard, yesterday. Also, the statue is apparently a gift from the Mayor, after Rodman told him about the legend of the Golden Magikarp he erected the statue, obviously on the taxpayer's dime.
Pikachu tries to make friends with Clauncher, but he turns him away, as Team Rocket observe the twerps from a ways away in their classic Magikarp submarine. Jesse also has an idea and the pedal away.
Meanwhile, Rodman gets another bite, and it's a big 'un. Unfortunately it's just a regular shitty red Magikarp. The twerps, who have no where else to meanderingly make their way too decide to help him fish for the golden Magikarp. Somewhere, Cilan throws a half drunken bottle of wine at his television and drunkenly yells ",TIS TASTES LIKE BULLSHIT, I COULDA FUCKING DIDDAT! I'M A FISHY COIN-A-SEWER, YOU NO!"
Rodman sees opportunity and gives the three twerps who are over the age of 8 fishing rods, because now he's become so lazy, he's even contracting out his leisurely activities to unpaid volunteers, Ash and Clemont cast their rods, as Serena runs into a pretty big issue. She's never fished before and doesn't even know what to do with a rod as big and long as this one. We get a look at Ash's line, and he's using a regular plain old lure as he shows his woman how to properly fish, in case they get a house on the beach when they get married, and she has to fish for food, because it's cheaper than going to market.
Bonnie who's apparently not of legal age to fish decides to entertain herself by getting acquainted with Clauncher, but Clauncher just scuttles off.
After a commercial break (IT'S CLAUNCHER!) Serena gets a bite on her line. Clemont and Ash help her pull her line and out pops a Corsola!
Ash gives Serena an idea to battle and catch the thing, so she goes for it and sends out Fennekin. Before Fennekin can even gain proper footing, Corsola blasts it with Water Gun (I guess), since Fennekin's a Fire-type, Water-type attacks are super effective, so Fennekin gets out of dodge and hides behind Serena, who takes a blast from Corsola right in the face.
Corsola tells the twerps "La, la la." which according to Google Translate roughly translates to "Lick my ass, fucker" as it hops back into the water. Ash and Clemont admonish Fennekin for being a punk, but it's having none of it, and just replies "Fenne, Fenne Fennekin", which translates to an insult o dirty, and demeaning that even I can't repeat what it is.
Bonnie seems to have figured that maybe Clauncher didn't hear her clearly the first time and gets right into it's face and asks the now frightened Crayfish Doctor if it wants to play. Dedenne also tries to get in some face time, and starts nudging it with it's tail. Clauncher waves it off the first time, but as Dedenne comes back for another, Clauncher grabs it in it's arm gun claw kajigger.
Dedenne in immeasurable pain begins Thundershocking Clauncher, and Clauncher tosses Dedenne INTO THE FUCKING SUN! Then blasts it with Water Gun.
Rodman sort of admonishes Clauncher then laughs it off by saying it could be a little friendlier. He tells the twerps that Clauncher used to live in the Aquarium, but surprisingly didn't enjoy being uplifted from it's home so slack-jawed yokels could gawk at it all day. So, Rodman made it his personal Pokémon - as opposed to releasing it back to it's home, I guess - but it's mostly fine when it's the two of them, but still doesn't enjoy being bothered.
Dedenne sneaks back up to Clauncher, apparently looking for Round 2, but is recalled by Bonnie, who instead nuzzles her stupid fat little Fairy/Raichu/Guinea Pig thing, who in return Nuzzles her, and paralyzes her. Now she might not be able to move next turn.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket have painted their Magikarp submarine gold. Why would they do such a stupid thing? Well, they have a reason. They believe that the real golden Magikarp might believe it's a friend and stupidly swim up to them, at which point they'd capture it.
Well... it's not a totally terrible plan, actually.
Meanwhile back at the twerps fishing spot, Clemont has given up his rod and is building his new piece of Clemontic Gear. Finally, the future is now thanks to science as Clemont has built a tiny Chinchou shaped robot that he calls the "No Need for Water-type Pokémon Food Chinchou Model Magikarp Magnet." Which is less a name than a description, but he's the genius.
The NNFWTPFCMMM works by emitting a special sound frequency that only Magikarp can hear, and thus they'll be drawn to. It's like blowing a dog whistle. He sends it in and turns it on, and it instead attracts a school of Sharpedo. The Sharpedo blast the twerps with Water Gun, and then the Sharpedo - who are fundamentalists, and take great umbrage to science - crowd around the NNFWTPFCMMM and destroy it, and as a bonus the remote in Celmont's hand explodes.
Take that science!
Meanwhile Team Rocket in the golden Magikarp submarine are having trouble finding the golden Magikarp, as it apparently doesn't give much of a shit to see another golden Magikarp. Just then, a Starmie swims past them and Team Rocket for whatever reason decide to catch it. But, when the hands of Magikarp submarine grab onto it, it instead uses Thunderbolt on them until they let it go, and it swims away and derisively "HA"'s at them.
Back at the beach, Serena's become bored of fishing, but Rodman says it's nice with nothing to do (you know, like curate an aquarium) while having all the time in the world (to not curate an aquarium) and enjoy the ocean breezes.
Meanwhile, Clemont's done... again. Clemontic gear round 2, as the Chinchou shaped "No Need for Water-type Pokémon Food Chinchou Model Magikarp Magnet," has evolved into a Lanturn shaped robot named the "This Time It Will Attract Only Magikarp For Certain Lanturn Model." He's sure it'll work this time because he just ran extensive tests on the Magikarp in the currently uncurated aquarium to discover which sound wave they prefer.
Basically the TTIWAOMFCLM works the way the NNFWTPFCMMM should have worked previously, he then chucks it in the water and turns it on, as Team Rocket's submarine approaches.
Then, the twerps plus Rodman's line all attach to the sub, and everyone thinks they have a bite. As the twerps pull, the flaw in Team Rocket's submarine is exposed as they're being stalled by three 10-year old kids of variable strength and an elderly weirdo. The twerps all pull their rods until Tea Rocket surface. They in unison scream "WE DID, ITS THE GOLDEN MAGIKARP!" , except Pikachu who just says "PIKA PIKA PIKA, PIKA PIKA!" Before Ash can send Pikachu in to battle it, Team Rocket emerge from the sub.
"Prepare for trouble, no way you say?"
"And make it double, no way, NO WAY!"
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all people within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of fishing hooks!"
"To extend our denouncing to twerpish crooks!"
"Jesse!"
"and James!"
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now, or prepare for an aquatic fight!"
"Meowth, that's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!"
Jesse than reads the twerps the riot act because they got in their way of trying to catch the golden Magikarp. JJ&M decide to steal the twerp's Pokémon to show them that n one gets in their way, starting with Clauncher. And for a Crawfish with a Ph.D from a seedy school, Clauncher's pretty agile, jumping and dodging their claws. They then decide to catch the much stupider and less agile Dedenne, who just stares at the claws helplessly.
Ash prepares to send in Pikachu to help Dedenne, but before he can the Clauncher launches itself at the arm of the sub holding Dedenne and snaps it with it's pincher. Dedenne then falls in the water and helplessly splashes about until Clauncher gives it a ride to shore. Jesse and James reemerge and sends in Pumpkaboo and Inkay to attack them. Bonnie and Clauncher avoid Shadowball, and then Psybeam. Clauncher retaliates with Water Gun on Inkay, then Crab Hammer on Pumpkaboo, and Bubblebeam on the both, sending them flyi... er... falling back into Team Rocket's submarine. Pikachu then uses Thunderbolt, and somehow avoids also murdering all the fish in the ocean and sends Team Rocket blasting off, with James however pulling up the rear, screaming "Wobbuffet".
Bonnie thanks the Doctor, as Rodman tells her that it has a strong sense of justice, and it blushes. He let's the twerps keep their rods, and just then the golden Magikarp jumps out of the water, seemingly to taunt them. They're happy to learn that it does exist, as the twerps prepare to meander on to Cyllage City, as the narrator informs us their are countless wonders yet to discover. Will one of those wonders be the location of Cyllage City? Find out as the journey continues.
FUCK!
Ash releases Froakie, and Clemont reminds us that Froakie is Water-Type, and therefore loves being around random bodies of water. Serena has somewhere she wants to go. Please say Cyllage City!
Ambrette Aquarium.
FUCK!
It sounds like fun to Ash, so he wants to go too.
And thus the twerps decide to go. Go, where? Why they're...
The secretary welcomes the twerps to the aquarium and tells them it's the only place to see many different types of Water-Type Pokémon. Bonnie loses her gourd over the lady and declares her a keeper and proposes Clemont's hand in marriage. Assuredly his OKCupid profile hasn't seen many hits, so Bonnie's going back to the direct approach. Clemont drags her away with his Aipom Ass Arm (AAA) as the secretary nervously waves goodbye to the weirdoes.
The twerps marvel at the Pokémon, and Serena gets so caught up she actually calls a Gorebyss - the monstrous , yet admittedly less hideous of the Clamperl evolutions - cute. Bonnie is spooked by a Relicanth. The twerps also admire Wooper, and Clamperl, half of which will unfortunately evolve into horrifying Huntail, and Lanturn.
and...
AND A STUNFISK!
The twerps continue to be amazed at the Water-types, because you never get to see them from this side. Clemont surmises that whoever designed this place must know a lot about Water-type Pokémon. Like, they like to swim. Wow, that must have been hard to figure out.
Later some woman walks into an area with multiple Piplup tailing her, one running up to greet Bonnie as Ash reminiscences over Dawn's glorious bastard of a Piplup. Finally the twerps walts through the Magikarp room, and Ash decides for the first time today after seeing multiple Pokémon to pull out his Pokédex. "Magikarp, the Fish Pokémon. Because all Magikarp seem to do is splash around, some consider them weak, but they're actually a hearty Pokémon that can survive in water no matter how dirty it is."
A man with an oddly silent Chatot on his shoulder tells the twerps that many Magikarp live in the bay, he also tells them that Water-type Pokémon are the second most common. He then shows them a sad little golden Magikarp statue outside. It supposed to be a statue of a giant Golden Magikarp, that looks like the saddest Mario Kart trophy in existence. He then directs the twerps to the Aquarium's curator and pisses off. The curator who is not currently curating the aquarium and is instead fishing.
Out of nowhere to save this hopeless episode is Team Rocket. Meowth wants to steal the statue, but Jessie and James figure that it's probably just gold-plated, and therefore not worth their time. They figure that their must be a real giant Golden Magikarp out there, and they have to catch it for themselves.
Meanwhile, the truant Aquarium Curator has grabbed a BIIIG one. As he pulls in his massive haul, he gets slapped in the face with a tiny piece of seaweed. I don't know how he's going to justify his long absences to his investors now. He introduces himself to the strangers as Rodman, no confirmation if this is a surname or given name, or if "Dennis" fits in there anywhere.
He also introduces them to his Pokémon, Clauncher, a blue Crayfish type Pokémon, who probably works with an intergalactic space delivery crew as their Doctor, despite being poorly versed in Human anatomy. "Clauncher, the Water Gun Pokémon. Clauncher fires compressed water from the arm gun on it's right claw and damages foes with the impact from the water."
My explanation was better.
He also tells the twerps that he's trying to catch the real golden Magikarp right now, instead of curating the aquarium he's supposed to be running. He tells them about the local legend which tells of a free-diver being shocked by a Starmie. Hasn't anyone told Starmie not to play with electricity under water? Anyway, the Starmie shocked the free-diver without murdering all the other fish in the sea somehow, and left the free-diver to his death. When out of nowhere (possibly the water) a giant golden Magikarp saves the guy.
Apparently the giant Golden Magikarp has been spotted in this very area. Yeah, and I saw Bigfoot in my backyard, yesterday. Also, the statue is apparently a gift from the Mayor, after Rodman told him about the legend of the Golden Magikarp he erected the statue, obviously on the taxpayer's dime.
Pikachu tries to make friends with Clauncher, but he turns him away, as Team Rocket observe the twerps from a ways away in their classic Magikarp submarine. Jesse also has an idea and the pedal away.
Meanwhile, Rodman gets another bite, and it's a big 'un. Unfortunately it's just a regular shitty red Magikarp. The twerps, who have no where else to meanderingly make their way too decide to help him fish for the golden Magikarp. Somewhere, Cilan throws a half drunken bottle of wine at his television and drunkenly yells ",TIS TASTES LIKE BULLSHIT, I COULDA FUCKING DIDDAT! I'M A FISHY COIN-A-SEWER, YOU NO!"
Rodman sees opportunity and gives the three twerps who are over the age of 8 fishing rods, because now he's become so lazy, he's even contracting out his leisurely activities to unpaid volunteers, Ash and Clemont cast their rods, as Serena runs into a pretty big issue. She's never fished before and doesn't even know what to do with a rod as big and long as this one. We get a look at Ash's line, and he's using a regular plain old lure as he shows his woman how to properly fish, in case they get a house on the beach when they get married, and she has to fish for food, because it's cheaper than going to market.
Bonnie who's apparently not of legal age to fish decides to entertain herself by getting acquainted with Clauncher, but Clauncher just scuttles off.
After a commercial break (IT'S CLAUNCHER!) Serena gets a bite on her line. Clemont and Ash help her pull her line and out pops a Corsola!
Ash gives Serena an idea to battle and catch the thing, so she goes for it and sends out Fennekin. Before Fennekin can even gain proper footing, Corsola blasts it with Water Gun (I guess), since Fennekin's a Fire-type, Water-type attacks are super effective, so Fennekin gets out of dodge and hides behind Serena, who takes a blast from Corsola right in the face.
Corsola tells the twerps "La, la la." which according to Google Translate roughly translates to "Lick my ass, fucker" as it hops back into the water. Ash and Clemont admonish Fennekin for being a punk, but it's having none of it, and just replies "Fenne, Fenne Fennekin", which translates to an insult o dirty, and demeaning that even I can't repeat what it is.
Bonnie seems to have figured that maybe Clauncher didn't hear her clearly the first time and gets right into it's face and asks the now frightened Crayfish Doctor if it wants to play. Dedenne also tries to get in some face time, and starts nudging it with it's tail. Clauncher waves it off the first time, but as Dedenne comes back for another, Clauncher grabs it in it's arm gun claw kajigger.
Dedenne in immeasurable pain begins Thundershocking Clauncher, and Clauncher tosses Dedenne INTO THE FUCKING SUN! Then blasts it with Water Gun.
Rodman sort of admonishes Clauncher then laughs it off by saying it could be a little friendlier. He tells the twerps that Clauncher used to live in the Aquarium, but surprisingly didn't enjoy being uplifted from it's home so slack-jawed yokels could gawk at it all day. So, Rodman made it his personal Pokémon - as opposed to releasing it back to it's home, I guess - but it's mostly fine when it's the two of them, but still doesn't enjoy being bothered.
Dedenne sneaks back up to Clauncher, apparently looking for Round 2, but is recalled by Bonnie, who instead nuzzles her stupid fat little Fairy/Raichu/Guinea Pig thing, who in return Nuzzles her, and paralyzes her. Now she might not be able to move next turn.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket have painted their Magikarp submarine gold. Why would they do such a stupid thing? Well, they have a reason. They believe that the real golden Magikarp might believe it's a friend and stupidly swim up to them, at which point they'd capture it.
Well... it's not a totally terrible plan, actually.
Meanwhile back at the twerps fishing spot, Clemont has given up his rod and is building his new piece of Clemontic Gear. Finally, the future is now thanks to science as Clemont has built a tiny Chinchou shaped robot that he calls the "No Need for Water-type Pokémon Food Chinchou Model Magikarp Magnet." Which is less a name than a description, but he's the genius.
The NNFWTPFCMMM works by emitting a special sound frequency that only Magikarp can hear, and thus they'll be drawn to. It's like blowing a dog whistle. He sends it in and turns it on, and it instead attracts a school of Sharpedo. The Sharpedo blast the twerps with Water Gun, and then the Sharpedo - who are fundamentalists, and take great umbrage to science - crowd around the NNFWTPFCMMM and destroy it, and as a bonus the remote in Celmont's hand explodes.
Take that science!
Meanwhile Team Rocket in the golden Magikarp submarine are having trouble finding the golden Magikarp, as it apparently doesn't give much of a shit to see another golden Magikarp. Just then, a Starmie swims past them and Team Rocket for whatever reason decide to catch it. But, when the hands of Magikarp submarine grab onto it, it instead uses Thunderbolt on them until they let it go, and it swims away and derisively "HA"'s at them.
Back at the beach, Serena's become bored of fishing, but Rodman says it's nice with nothing to do (you know, like curate an aquarium) while having all the time in the world (to not curate an aquarium) and enjoy the ocean breezes.
Meanwhile, Clemont's done... again. Clemontic gear round 2, as the Chinchou shaped "No Need for Water-type Pokémon Food Chinchou Model Magikarp Magnet," has evolved into a Lanturn shaped robot named the "This Time It Will Attract Only Magikarp For Certain Lanturn Model." He's sure it'll work this time because he just ran extensive tests on the Magikarp in the currently uncurated aquarium to discover which sound wave they prefer.
Basically the TTIWAOMFCLM works the way the NNFWTPFCMMM should have worked previously, he then chucks it in the water and turns it on, as Team Rocket's submarine approaches.
Then, the twerps plus Rodman's line all attach to the sub, and everyone thinks they have a bite. As the twerps pull, the flaw in Team Rocket's submarine is exposed as they're being stalled by three 10-year old kids of variable strength and an elderly weirdo. The twerps all pull their rods until Tea Rocket surface. They in unison scream "WE DID, ITS THE GOLDEN MAGIKARP!" , except Pikachu who just says "PIKA PIKA PIKA, PIKA PIKA!" Before Ash can send Pikachu in to battle it, Team Rocket emerge from the sub.
"Prepare for trouble, no way you say?"
"And make it double, no way, NO WAY!"
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all people within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of fishing hooks!"
"To extend our denouncing to twerpish crooks!"
"Jesse!"
"and James!"
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now, or prepare for an aquatic fight!"
"Meowth, that's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!"
Jesse than reads the twerps the riot act because they got in their way of trying to catch the golden Magikarp. JJ&M decide to steal the twerp's Pokémon to show them that n one gets in their way, starting with Clauncher. And for a Crawfish with a Ph.D from a seedy school, Clauncher's pretty agile, jumping and dodging their claws. They then decide to catch the much stupider and less agile Dedenne, who just stares at the claws helplessly.
Ash prepares to send in Pikachu to help Dedenne, but before he can the Clauncher launches itself at the arm of the sub holding Dedenne and snaps it with it's pincher. Dedenne then falls in the water and helplessly splashes about until Clauncher gives it a ride to shore. Jesse and James reemerge and sends in Pumpkaboo and Inkay to attack them. Bonnie and Clauncher avoid Shadowball, and then Psybeam. Clauncher retaliates with Water Gun on Inkay, then Crab Hammer on Pumpkaboo, and Bubblebeam on the both, sending them flyi... er... falling back into Team Rocket's submarine. Pikachu then uses Thunderbolt, and somehow avoids also murdering all the fish in the ocean and sends Team Rocket blasting off, with James however pulling up the rear, screaming "Wobbuffet".
Bonnie thanks the Doctor, as Rodman tells her that it has a strong sense of justice, and it blushes. He let's the twerps keep their rods, and just then the golden Magikarp jumps out of the water, seemingly to taunt them. They're happy to learn that it does exist, as the twerps prepare to meander on to Cyllage City, as the narrator informs us their are countless wonders yet to discover. Will one of those wonders be the location of Cyllage City? Find out as the journey continues.
