Post by LUNI_TUNZ on Jan 6, 2018 0:20:49 GMT -4
942: Mamorigami Kapu Kokeko tōjō! Chōsen, ore-tachi no Z-waza!!
935: The Guardian's Challenge!
Last time on Pokèmen: The Series Sun and Moon, Professor Oak decided that it ain't no fun if the homies can't get none, and sent Delia and his bastard son to meet his cousin in the birthplace of the 44th President of the Un...ova region, Barrack Obama - also known as the Alola region, which is also the word they use to greet each other - so like if a Japanese person moved to Ohio - met a local legendary Pokèmon who decided that he was the chosen one, and went to this thing called a school.
Delia left him behind so he can get some book learnin' and hopefully be a contributing member of society, which seems like it'll be a challenge, some might even call it...
![](https://i.imgur.com/jP05qoY.png")
We get a quick recap of Ash's classmate's characteristics, Lana's a cutie Water Pokémon trainer (I didn't preorder the Lana Nendoroid, YOU preordered the Lana Nendoroid), Sophocles is a NEEEEEEEERD! Lillie can't touch Pokémon, Mallow has green hair, and Kiawe is the hot bod, who doesn't wear a shirt, and is also the fan service all the girls have been asking for - hey, you try sitting through 800 episodes of fawning over Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny.
Speaking of no shirts, here comes Professor Kukui and his open lab coat to officially welcome Ash to class, leading us to a standard anime trope that Pokémon has actually avoided until this point. Ash is officially a transfer student, though I guess he's not actually transferring from anywhere. You see, this is all a part of his never ending (if Nintendo has their way) journey to become a Pokèmon Master. The kids don't give a shit about that noise and instead want to know about the Z-Crystal on his arm that he got from Tapu Koko.
Ash explains that he was hearing voices, and wisely blindly followed it, as all kids are taught, and then met Tapu Koko who gave him the Z-Ring. Lillie has read that Tapu Koko likes to play tricks, but also punish strangers, or give them gifts.
Either way, Ash now has a Z-Ring, so that means he can use Z-Moves like Kiawe, right? Fuck no it seems, the Z-Ring will only work when a trainer and it's Pokémon's hearts become one, turning that feeling to power, but those feelings must be about something great, like helping the island, or helping Pokémon, and DEFINITELY not about winning Pokémon battles, no no no.
Ash follows up this thoughtful speech with the most Ash sentence to ever be spoken in the history of the Pokémon anime, "Kiawe, I don't understand, much of that complicated stuff."
Kukui informs them it's now time for Pokémon science, which will be thought by Principal Oak, which is a weird use of the Principal's time, in this school of like, six students.
Oak's lesson is on Pokémon who look different in the Alola region compared to everywhere else in the world, starting with the differences between Alolan Exeggutor, and regular Exeggutor. For instance, the Alolan Exeggutor and a much longer and harder, and stiffer... neck. In fact, when you catch a regular Exeggutor the Pokèball asks "is it in yet?"
It also takes on a new type, making it a Grass and Dragon-type, and has a sentient tail. For some reason.
Principal Oak also makes some puns, which must be literal pain on the dub writers to match every time.
Later, Professor Shirt-optional serves Ash a plate of food, it's called an "Alola plate," though, since they're in Alola, it should just be called a "plate", I mean, they don't eat "Chinese food" in China, they just eat "food."
Ash finishes the plate 'cause he's a slob, and plays with Rockruff, Kukui's little good boy. Meanwhile Kukui takes a mysterious phone call, and Mallow can be seen confirming some sort of mysterious party is on.
I wonder what this means.
The next day Ash is late, so late in face he forgot to run to school with a piece of toast in his mouth, but as he gets to he gate pyrotechnics go off, and Popplio knocks Ash on his ass. It seems the new twerps have planned a series of surprises for Ash, first, the welcoming party, next a challenge with Sophocles.
Challenge? That's Ash's favorite word, so of course he agrees to battle. Except there is no battle, instead it's a game of "pop the balloon," and Ash's battle boner shrank three sizes that day.
They begin the challenge, and Pikachu symbolically grabs the blue ball, as he and Ash learn that they're much tougher than they look, but Sophocles has no problem popping them on Togedemaru's spiky back, it's at this point Lillie decides to inform Ash that he's allowed to use moves, which would have been useful to open with.
Ash has Pikachu use Thunderbolt, which is apparently all according to Sophocles's plan as Togedemaru uses it's Lightning Rod ability to absorb the Thunderbolt and pop the balloons fast with Zing Zap.
What a cheating jerk.
Ash is down 0-1, but next to the (Alola) plate is Lana. In this challenge Pikachu races Popplio, which goes well, as Popplio has no legs, but then the second leg (which, as I've mention Popplio doesn't have) is in the water, but surely Pikachu has this in the bag, being so far in the le... turns out Popplio can swim at speeds of up tp 25 Miles per Hour, or as our international viewers know it "a what?"
So Ash is now down 0-2, and there's no sexy professor fixing scores at his Summer Camp in sight, so Ash may actually lose this if he can't defeat his fourth surprise... a race on the backs of Tauros.
Finally, a competition Ash should have at least a modicum of experience in having thirty of the damn things after all, and there's no surprise abilities or moves the Tauros can pull out to give Kiawe a sneaky win.
Principal Oak will obviously be bringing the PUN-ishment this season to us and those poor dub writers. Kukui reveals he is Ash's fifth surprise, as the female viewers out there wish he was theirs instead.
Unfortunately for Ash Kiawe wins in a fair, but close race.
The scoreboard reads 0-3, and Ash finds himself in a situation he doesn't often find himself in. getting swept out of the finals...
Fortunately the fifth surprise is a Pokémon battle with Professor Kukui, and Ash outright claims this is the best one of all, a direct fuck you to his new friends, who's only crime was they wanted to show Ash a good time.
But before Ash can do that thing he wants to do, Mallow informs him that she's the "poster girl" for her family's restaurant, which seems like it can lead to some unfortunate merchandising, but never mind that shit as she prepares lunch for the bunch.
Everyone sits around and talks about how good Mallow's family's restaurant is and Sophocles says he doesn't eat anywhere else, which I highly doubt.
Ash stuffs his fat face with food until he hears a loud call, Ash looks and... THE GUARDIAN OF THE ISLAND, TAPU KOKO APPEARS RIGHT BEFORE ASH'S FACE.
And then steals Ash's hat...
MOTHERFUCKER DONE DONE IT NOW, NOBODY STEALS ASH'S HAT, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GODDAMN POSTCARDS HE HAD TO SEND IN TO GET THAT HAT? HE ALMOST GOT HIS ASS KICKED BY A MANKEY FOR THA... oh wait, that was a different hat.
BUT STILL, YOU AIN'T GETTING AWAY MOTHERFUCKER!
Ash chases the Island Guardian deep into the woods pursued by his new friends, and Sophocles has trouble because he's fat.
Tapu Koko leads him into the woods, places his hat back on his head and... challenges him to a battle. Lillie gives the 411 about Tapu Koko's motives, it likes to challenge islanders to Pokémon battles... and something called Alolan Sumo.
Unfortunately we won't see Tapu Koko push Ash in and out of a *searches google* dohyō?
Tapu Koko starts the battle while Lillie, who is basically a Pokédex stand in informs him that it makes Electric moves more powerful while it's in effect, which works great for Ash and his Electric-type Pikachu.
Tapu Koko gets the first hits in by dive bombing Pikachu right in the face. I mean, I don't think it was a Tackle, what lame deity would use Tackle, I mean seriously? It then surrounds itself with pink energy and hits Pikachu a second time, except it doesn't, because Pikachu has dodged at the last second. Now it's time to show this deity who's boss, and Ash goes for Thunderbolt, and scores a direct hit!
But Tapu Koko shrugs that shit off and brushes it's shoulder off like it wasn't nothing but a thing, and then flies in for the kill on Ash... except it stops mid flight, lightly taps his Z-Ring.
Ash realizes this means it actually wants it to use it's Z-Ring, which he does by mimicking Tapu Koko's moves, and thus Gigavolt Havoc is unleashed, and craters the fuck out of the area - I'm sure the local flora and fauna love that - and the Z-Crystal shatters, apparently because it was embarrassed since Ash hasn't passed the Island Challenge Trail.
So, Ash figures, hell with it, I'll take he trial, get another Z-Crystal, because apparently they're not rare or anything, and use Z-Moves the right way. Looks like Ash has a goal to work towards, as the journey is...
TO BE CONT...
OH! before that, Kukui gives Ash a Pokédex, so I guess Lillie's out of a job? Find out as the journey is...
Pokemopolis Episode Name: Ash's First Day!
Dodgyness Rating: 3/5
Animation: 4/5
Story: Ash officially enters school for the first time ever.
Team Rocket: Nowhere to be seen.
Moral Learnt: if you challenge someone to a contest, make sure they're unaware of all the rules.
Best Quotes
Kiawe, I don't understand, much of that complicated stuff.
935: The Guardian's Challenge!
Last time on Pokèmen: The Series Sun and Moon, Professor Oak decided that it ain't no fun if the homies can't get none, and sent Delia and his bastard son to meet his cousin in the birthplace of the 44th President of the Un...ova region, Barrack Obama - also known as the Alola region, which is also the word they use to greet each other - so like if a Japanese person moved to Ohio - met a local legendary Pokèmon who decided that he was the chosen one, and went to this thing called a school.
Delia left him behind so he can get some book learnin' and hopefully be a contributing member of society, which seems like it'll be a challenge, some might even call it...
We get a quick recap of Ash's classmate's characteristics, Lana's a cutie Water Pokémon trainer (I didn't preorder the Lana Nendoroid, YOU preordered the Lana Nendoroid), Sophocles is a NEEEEEEEERD! Lillie can't touch Pokémon, Mallow has green hair, and Kiawe is the hot bod, who doesn't wear a shirt, and is also the fan service all the girls have been asking for - hey, you try sitting through 800 episodes of fawning over Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny.
Speaking of no shirts, here comes Professor Kukui and his open lab coat to officially welcome Ash to class, leading us to a standard anime trope that Pokémon has actually avoided until this point. Ash is officially a transfer student, though I guess he's not actually transferring from anywhere. You see, this is all a part of his never ending (if Nintendo has their way) journey to become a Pokèmon Master. The kids don't give a shit about that noise and instead want to know about the Z-Crystal on his arm that he got from Tapu Koko.
Ash explains that he was hearing voices, and wisely blindly followed it, as all kids are taught, and then met Tapu Koko who gave him the Z-Ring. Lillie has read that Tapu Koko likes to play tricks, but also punish strangers, or give them gifts.
Either way, Ash now has a Z-Ring, so that means he can use Z-Moves like Kiawe, right? Fuck no it seems, the Z-Ring will only work when a trainer and it's Pokémon's hearts become one, turning that feeling to power, but those feelings must be about something great, like helping the island, or helping Pokémon, and DEFINITELY not about winning Pokémon battles, no no no.
Ash follows up this thoughtful speech with the most Ash sentence to ever be spoken in the history of the Pokémon anime, "Kiawe, I don't understand, much of that complicated stuff."
Kukui informs them it's now time for Pokémon science, which will be thought by Principal Oak, which is a weird use of the Principal's time, in this school of like, six students.
Oak's lesson is on Pokémon who look different in the Alola region compared to everywhere else in the world, starting with the differences between Alolan Exeggutor, and regular Exeggutor. For instance, the Alolan Exeggutor and a much longer and harder, and stiffer... neck. In fact, when you catch a regular Exeggutor the Pokèball asks "is it in yet?"
It also takes on a new type, making it a Grass and Dragon-type, and has a sentient tail. For some reason.
Principal Oak also makes some puns, which must be literal pain on the dub writers to match every time.
Later, Professor Shirt-optional serves Ash a plate of food, it's called an "Alola plate," though, since they're in Alola, it should just be called a "plate", I mean, they don't eat "Chinese food" in China, they just eat "food."
Ash finishes the plate 'cause he's a slob, and plays with Rockruff, Kukui's little good boy. Meanwhile Kukui takes a mysterious phone call, and Mallow can be seen confirming some sort of mysterious party is on.
I wonder what this means.
The next day Ash is late, so late in face he forgot to run to school with a piece of toast in his mouth, but as he gets to he gate pyrotechnics go off, and Popplio knocks Ash on his ass. It seems the new twerps have planned a series of surprises for Ash, first, the welcoming party, next a challenge with Sophocles.
Challenge? That's Ash's favorite word, so of course he agrees to battle. Except there is no battle, instead it's a game of "pop the balloon," and Ash's battle boner shrank three sizes that day.
They begin the challenge, and Pikachu symbolically grabs the blue ball, as he and Ash learn that they're much tougher than they look, but Sophocles has no problem popping them on Togedemaru's spiky back, it's at this point Lillie decides to inform Ash that he's allowed to use moves, which would have been useful to open with.
Ash has Pikachu use Thunderbolt, which is apparently all according to Sophocles's plan as Togedemaru uses it's Lightning Rod ability to absorb the Thunderbolt and pop the balloons fast with Zing Zap.
What a cheating jerk.
Ash is down 0-1, but next to the (Alola) plate is Lana. In this challenge Pikachu races Popplio, which goes well, as Popplio has no legs, but then the second leg (which, as I've mention Popplio doesn't have) is in the water, but surely Pikachu has this in the bag, being so far in the le... turns out Popplio can swim at speeds of up tp 25 Miles per Hour, or as our international viewers know it "a what?"
So Ash is now down 0-2, and there's no sexy professor fixing scores at his Summer Camp in sight, so Ash may actually lose this if he can't defeat his fourth surprise... a race on the backs of Tauros.
Finally, a competition Ash should have at least a modicum of experience in having thirty of the damn things after all, and there's no surprise abilities or moves the Tauros can pull out to give Kiawe a sneaky win.
Principal Oak will obviously be bringing the PUN-ishment this season to us and those poor dub writers. Kukui reveals he is Ash's fifth surprise, as the female viewers out there wish he was theirs instead.
Unfortunately for Ash Kiawe wins in a fair, but close race.
The scoreboard reads 0-3, and Ash finds himself in a situation he doesn't often find himself in. getting swept out of the finals...
Fortunately the fifth surprise is a Pokémon battle with Professor Kukui, and Ash outright claims this is the best one of all, a direct fuck you to his new friends, who's only crime was they wanted to show Ash a good time.
But before Ash can do that thing he wants to do, Mallow informs him that she's the "poster girl" for her family's restaurant, which seems like it can lead to some unfortunate merchandising, but never mind that shit as she prepares lunch for the bunch.
Everyone sits around and talks about how good Mallow's family's restaurant is and Sophocles says he doesn't eat anywhere else, which I highly doubt.
Ash stuffs his fat face with food until he hears a loud call, Ash looks and... THE GUARDIAN OF THE ISLAND, TAPU KOKO APPEARS RIGHT BEFORE ASH'S FACE.
And then steals Ash's hat...
MOTHERFUCKER DONE DONE IT NOW, NOBODY STEALS ASH'S HAT, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GODDAMN POSTCARDS HE HAD TO SEND IN TO GET THAT HAT? HE ALMOST GOT HIS ASS KICKED BY A MANKEY FOR THA... oh wait, that was a different hat.
BUT STILL, YOU AIN'T GETTING AWAY MOTHERFUCKER!
Ash chases the Island Guardian deep into the woods pursued by his new friends, and Sophocles has trouble because he's fat.
Tapu Koko leads him into the woods, places his hat back on his head and... challenges him to a battle. Lillie gives the 411 about Tapu Koko's motives, it likes to challenge islanders to Pokémon battles... and something called Alolan Sumo.
Unfortunately we won't see Tapu Koko push Ash in and out of a *searches google* dohyō?
Tapu Koko starts the battle while Lillie, who is basically a Pokédex stand in informs him that it makes Electric moves more powerful while it's in effect, which works great for Ash and his Electric-type Pikachu.
Tapu Koko gets the first hits in by dive bombing Pikachu right in the face. I mean, I don't think it was a Tackle, what lame deity would use Tackle, I mean seriously? It then surrounds itself with pink energy and hits Pikachu a second time, except it doesn't, because Pikachu has dodged at the last second. Now it's time to show this deity who's boss, and Ash goes for Thunderbolt, and scores a direct hit!
But Tapu Koko shrugs that shit off and brushes it's shoulder off like it wasn't nothing but a thing, and then flies in for the kill on Ash... except it stops mid flight, lightly taps his Z-Ring.
Ash realizes this means it actually wants it to use it's Z-Ring, which he does by mimicking Tapu Koko's moves, and thus Gigavolt Havoc is unleashed, and craters the fuck out of the area - I'm sure the local flora and fauna love that - and the Z-Crystal shatters, apparently because it was embarrassed since Ash hasn't passed the Island Challenge Trail.
So, Ash figures, hell with it, I'll take he trial, get another Z-Crystal, because apparently they're not rare or anything, and use Z-Moves the right way. Looks like Ash has a goal to work towards, as the journey is...
TO BE CONT...
OH! before that, Kukui gives Ash a Pokédex, so I guess Lillie's out of a job? Find out as the journey is...
Pokemopolis Episode Name: Ash's First Day!
Dodgyness Rating: 3/5
Animation: 4/5
Story: Ash officially enters school for the first time ever.
Team Rocket: Nowhere to be seen.
Moral Learnt: if you challenge someone to a contest, make sure they're unaware of all the rules.
Best Quotes
Kiawe, I don't understand, much of that complicated stuff.
