Post by LUNI_TUNZ on May 14, 2014 1:53:54 GMT -4
Seemingly no closer to Cyllage City than they were before, the Sun is setting and Serena is worried that if they don't hurry then they can't make it to the Pokémon Center in time. Ash the suggests that hey, fuck it if we don't make it in time we can just camp out.
"Camp out!" says a shocked and fearful Serena, well apparently she never considered she'd have to actually camp out and didn't bring her gear, despite her mother telling her that exactly this would happen. But she has no need to worry as Clemont brought an extra sleeping bag, in case they ran into a girl who refused to listen to her mother, and didn't bring sleeping gear, and she can sleep in Bonnie's tent.
After nightfall we finally learn that Clemont is this series' Brock/Cilan as he cooks a big ol' dinner for everyone. Not to be outdone, Serena has cooked up some Macarons. Ash never has to lift a finger ever again... or ever before.
But as Clemont opens the basket the Macron's are gone. Turns out Chespin snuck and ate them all, because he has...
Clemont apologizes for Chespin, but it's not that big a deal says Serena, Bonnie agrees, but she REALLY wanted a Macaron. Serena promises the little girl that she can just always make more... Ash subconsciously takes offense to everyone else talking about what they're good at doing, and decides to suggest the one thing he's good at doing... and it's not Serena.
It's battling.
Clemont decides to volunteer Chespin to battle so the little fatass can get some exercise. Ash goes with Froakie, pissing right in the face of Type advantages, like he does.
Ash orders a Bubble, and Clemont warns Chespin to dodge, but he can't do it and gets hit instead. Clemont tries to rebound and orders a Tackle, but Fatass McBlobicus is too slow, and Froakie jumps out of the way last second as wideload trips and falls on it's fat face.
Froakie then goes for Pound, and tubby just barely dodges but as it tries to recover, it faceplants on the ground. Froakie then bounds off of a tree and connects in the back of wideass' head, knocking it out and winning.
Clemont is embarrassed to be a Gym leader and have lost like that. Bonnie takes the opportunity to kick even more shit in his face as she bets that the way things are now, EVEN Dedenne could beat Chespin... which doesn't sound quite like a ringing endorsement for her fat/electric/fairy/Raichu/Guinea Pig thing.
Clemont accepts his little sister's invitation to battle, and gives Chespin a speech on not being over-confident because yur opponent's smaller, but what he really means is "Don't you dare lose this battle for me you fat tub of lard, losing to my little sister would be bad enough, but to goddamn Dedenne, too?"
Clemont orders Lardo* to use Tackle (*Lardo, much less sexually confusing than Birdo) and before he can get going, he trips on the ground and slides right in front of Dedenne, and it gives Thunder Thighs a taste of it's Thunder (or Thundershock, whatever)and wins. The Twerps are ashamed at Clemont's hilarious failure.
Later in the night, Ash is tired from all that eating and battling and is sleep, while Bonnie and Serena, in their hideous tent straight out of a vore fetishists dreams pretend to be different Pokémon, with Serena doing a dead-on impression of a Swadloon.
Clemont on the other hand is busy inventing. For once Clemont doesn't have an invention conveniently ready for this situation, so he set out to make one, with parts he apparently pulled from his ass.
Clemont gives Chubspin the rundown on what he's building, since he's a Gym leader he can't go around getting humbled like that, so with his machine (it's a treadmill) he'll be full of energy in no time.
The Fat and the Furious on the other hand is a sleep while Clemont gives his big speech, until he smells some food and sleep wanders off.
While this is happening, Clemont has finished his new invention... the treadmill. It also comes with accompanying bondage gear. He plugs himself in to test it to make sure it's safe for humongo.
With the bondage gear he struggles to turn on the treadmill, and it seems to work. Unfortunately he can't stop it (maybe the bondage gear was unnecessary, but hey whatever floats his boat) The machine obliges and stops for him... by blowing up, and waking the other twerps up.
Clemont insists that it'll only take a second to repair it, and then notices that Big Bertha is gone. Clemont assumes it must have ran away because of the explosion, but it's still walking toward the smell of food.
The twerps look for it close by and Bonnie figures it must not like them anymore. This depresses Clemont, but the other twerps assure him that they'll find it, they jut have to widen their search. Ha! Widen, get it? Because Chespin is fat.
The Tub o' Lard meanwhile has collapsed onto a nice old ladies porch, who is in the middle of baking a whole bunch of Macarons in a brick oven, she walks outside and notices it sleeping on her step, and she picks the portly thing up.
The twerps continue looking with Ash standing in a tree, he learned much from Iris, and Bonnie comes up with another theory. Maybe it was so embarrassed by losing so bad to fucking Dedenne that it couldn't take it anymore and very slowly ran away.
Clemont blames himself, and assumes that it must have ran away because he forced it to battle so soon after eating. Well, that's a very logical theory. Serena tries to cheer Clemont up and decides that they should split up to look for it. Pikachu goes with Ash, Bonnie goes with Serena, Scoob goes with Shaggy and Velma, Daphne goes with Freddy and Clemont hoofs it alone.
Back in the old ladies house Porky wakes up and babbles excitedly at the smell of the Macarons she's cooking, later Clemont discovers that it is happily eating macarons with the old lady, and thus his suspicions are confirmed. It really did run away from him.
The gang reconvenes and Clemont tells the others the heartbreaking tale. He doesn't think it cares about him anymore so he left it where he found it, with the kind old lady.
Speaking of the kind old lady, while the tubster continues to gorge on Macarons suddenly her husband Wylie comes back, and the ol lady think there's something Heavy D can do for her, and it chokes on it's macarons as there's only 1 thing old people need help doing, and it doesn't want any part of that.
Wylie sits a trophy down as he comes in and declares that he won the village tournament. He spots the macarons and as he readys himself to eat one, "grandma", as he calls her, snatches the tray away, because he can't have any yet, not until he has a battle with her.
He knows that she doesn't have any Pokémon that can best his Delphox, but she announces her secret weapon, Chespin. He agrees, but on the condition that if he wins she;ll forgive him, but if she wins he has to apologize to her.
Oh my.
The two prepare to battle, Wylie sends out Delphox, a bi-pedal evolution of Fennekin. Wylie calls for a Will-O-Wisp and the lump can only bounce around as will-O-wisp connects and causes a huge explosion.
the twerps notice, and Clemont goes rushing back, and sees tubsy-wubsy in the middle of trying to outrun Will-O-Wisp. Grandma asks it to be strong and asks it to use Counter Attack, as she realizes she may just be a bit over her head trying to fight with a Pokémon that she just met, and doesn't even know the moves of.
The twerps catch up and see it in the middle of the battle with Delphox. "Delphox, the Fox Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Fennekin, when Delphox stares into the flame on the tip of it's branch to achieve a focused state, it creates a white-hot spiral of fire with it's Psychic power."
Bonnie tells Clemont to do something since Delphox is a Fire-type, Chespin is at a disadvantage, but he knows thaatChespin don't like him so he's hesitant to just run out and do something.
Wylie and Grandma have had enough of awkwardly standing around doing nothing as Wylie decides it's time to wrap things up, as Grandma Old Lady lowly whimpers, because she knows what happens if Wylie wins.
Wylie order a Flamethrower, and as Delphox reaches up to shoot the fire from it's branch the twerps look on in horror, a Pokémon using a Pokémon attack on another Pokémon? What lunacy is this? Ash gets ready to send in Pikachu to help, but Clemont runs instead, because apparently he's made of flame retardant skin.
As Delphox launches it's attack, Clemont blocks it with the arm that shoots from his backpack. Wylie realizing that he's just murdered some kid asks Delphox to stop immediately. But Clemont's fine, he checks to see if his load-bearing Chespin is alright, as the rest of the twerps join them.
Clemont apologizes to the lady and tells her that Chespin is his, and Wylie realizes that he's now the winner again. Grandma looks distraught, now Wylie going to do all kind of X-rated things to her, and probably forget the safe word of, then refuse to apologize for landing them back at square one, because huge-ass couldn't pull it out.
It looks at her sad face and decides that against all odds it's going to fight in her honor anyway, and Clemont ablidges by telling her that they do it, and that he's going to listen to Chespin's feelings more.
Grandma doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about, but is fine with whatever as long as he can kick Wylie's ass. Because he owes her an apology, goddammit!
Wylie and Delphox are fine with it as well, and they're ready to go.
Delphox opens with Will-O-Wisp and Clemont tells Roly-poly to dodge... by rolling. Clemont realizes that it's no good to make the sack of fat attack, so he'll make it dodge a bunch.
Wylie changes course and has Delphox use Flamethrower, and Clemont has the God of Lard still dodge by rolling. Wylie switches back to Will-O-Wisp, and Clemont continues his rolling strategy... and it appears to be working.
"It" being Chespin losing it's spare tire. That's right, Chespin got skinnier just by rolling around on the floor.
Well, move over Jenny Craig, it's the new weight loss sensation sweeping the nation, soon all of your overweight friends will be rolling around on the floor like idiots losing weight in record amounts of time.
Uhh... anyway, back to the battle, Clemont orders a Tackle, and Chespin moves with the quickness and smashes Delphox in the head. Chespin then uses Vine Whip but Delphox derisively slaps it away, and uses Flamethrower again, knocking Chespin back on it's ass. With no one making scaed faces because Delphox is about to murder Chespin now.
Clemont tells Chespin to get up because he believes in it, and suddenly Chespin start glowing green.
It's Chespin's special ability, Overgrow (Wasn't Overgrowing it's problem in the first place?) the ability makes Chespin's Grass-type moves more powerful when it's in bad shape, or about to get it's ass kicked. Chespin then uses Vine whip again and knocks Delphox's stick from it's hands.
Wylie is mad now, but announces he has a trick or two up his sleeve. He didn;t think he;d HAVE to use this move, but but he's gonna, there's no going back now.
Grandma warns Wylie about using "that" move, because it's too dangerous, and he knows it. Ash thinks it's a super strong move that could cause recoil damage. Wylie prepares to call for MYSTICAL FIII-ah, and breaks his back.
Delphox looks on at his poor foolish trainer as Ash gets it, it's Wylie who gets hurt, not Delphox. Since Wylie is in no condition to battle, they call it on account of old.
Later in the house, Wylie apologizes for getting the twerps involved in their sexy old people squabble. Apparently though, yesterday while they were eating Wylie snuck in a fat jab by insinuating that she's eating too much soup, or eating it too fast. It's not clear because he had the same amount of soup. Either way, she took his soup away from him that night, and I guess he starved.
Nice coverup, but we all know what really happened, and it had less to do with soup and more with sexy times with wrinkly skin, sweat, ropes and handcuffs.
The kids laugh at the weird old people nonsense, and grandma takes note of a box that's sitting on a chair. Apparently Wylie went out and bought her a big Cherry-topped cake. He got it so they could have make-up sex, and planned to apologize regardless of if he won or lost. She decides that the twerps should join along in eating Wylie's apology, while Wylie gets ready to eat something else.
Outside as everybody decides to give their goodbyes, Grandma tells Chespin how lucky it is to have Clemont as a trainer, and Clemont is surprised that Chespin doesn't actually hate him, and didn't in fact run away.
Clemont is glad to know that Chespin really does like him, and wishes they can be friends forever. They wave goodbye, and another happy ending for the twerps (and Wyline).
Also, Serena thought of more Pokémon to imitate, and wants to camp out, what Pokémon will she imitate? We'll probably find out when the journey continues.
...or probably not.
"Camp out!" says a shocked and fearful Serena, well apparently she never considered she'd have to actually camp out and didn't bring her gear, despite her mother telling her that exactly this would happen. But she has no need to worry as Clemont brought an extra sleeping bag, in case they ran into a girl who refused to listen to her mother, and didn't bring sleeping gear, and she can sleep in Bonnie's tent.
After nightfall we finally learn that Clemont is this series' Brock/Cilan as he cooks a big ol' dinner for everyone. Not to be outdone, Serena has cooked up some Macarons. Ash never has to lift a finger ever again... or ever before.
But as Clemont opens the basket the Macron's are gone. Turns out Chespin snuck and ate them all, because he has...
Clemont apologizes for Chespin, but it's not that big a deal says Serena, Bonnie agrees, but she REALLY wanted a Macaron. Serena promises the little girl that she can just always make more... Ash subconsciously takes offense to everyone else talking about what they're good at doing, and decides to suggest the one thing he's good at doing... and it's not Serena.
It's battling.
Clemont decides to volunteer Chespin to battle so the little fatass can get some exercise. Ash goes with Froakie, pissing right in the face of Type advantages, like he does.
Ash orders a Bubble, and Clemont warns Chespin to dodge, but he can't do it and gets hit instead. Clemont tries to rebound and orders a Tackle, but Fatass McBlobicus is too slow, and Froakie jumps out of the way last second as wideload trips and falls on it's fat face.
Froakie then goes for Pound, and tubby just barely dodges but as it tries to recover, it faceplants on the ground. Froakie then bounds off of a tree and connects in the back of wideass' head, knocking it out and winning.
Clemont is embarrassed to be a Gym leader and have lost like that. Bonnie takes the opportunity to kick even more shit in his face as she bets that the way things are now, EVEN Dedenne could beat Chespin... which doesn't sound quite like a ringing endorsement for her fat/electric/fairy/Raichu/Guinea Pig thing.
Clemont accepts his little sister's invitation to battle, and gives Chespin a speech on not being over-confident because yur opponent's smaller, but what he really means is "Don't you dare lose this battle for me you fat tub of lard, losing to my little sister would be bad enough, but to goddamn Dedenne, too?"
Clemont orders Lardo* to use Tackle (*Lardo, much less sexually confusing than Birdo) and before he can get going, he trips on the ground and slides right in front of Dedenne, and it gives Thunder Thighs a taste of it's Thunder (or Thundershock, whatever)and wins. The Twerps are ashamed at Clemont's hilarious failure.
Later in the night, Ash is tired from all that eating and battling and is sleep, while Bonnie and Serena, in their hideous tent straight out of a vore fetishists dreams pretend to be different Pokémon, with Serena doing a dead-on impression of a Swadloon.
Clemont on the other hand is busy inventing. For once Clemont doesn't have an invention conveniently ready for this situation, so he set out to make one, with parts he apparently pulled from his ass.
Clemont gives Chubspin the rundown on what he's building, since he's a Gym leader he can't go around getting humbled like that, so with his machine (it's a treadmill) he'll be full of energy in no time.
The Fat and the Furious on the other hand is a sleep while Clemont gives his big speech, until he smells some food and sleep wanders off.
While this is happening, Clemont has finished his new invention... the treadmill. It also comes with accompanying bondage gear. He plugs himself in to test it to make sure it's safe for humongo.
With the bondage gear he struggles to turn on the treadmill, and it seems to work. Unfortunately he can't stop it (maybe the bondage gear was unnecessary, but hey whatever floats his boat) The machine obliges and stops for him... by blowing up, and waking the other twerps up.
Clemont insists that it'll only take a second to repair it, and then notices that Big Bertha is gone. Clemont assumes it must have ran away because of the explosion, but it's still walking toward the smell of food.
The twerps look for it close by and Bonnie figures it must not like them anymore. This depresses Clemont, but the other twerps assure him that they'll find it, they jut have to widen their search. Ha! Widen, get it? Because Chespin is fat.
The Tub o' Lard meanwhile has collapsed onto a nice old ladies porch, who is in the middle of baking a whole bunch of Macarons in a brick oven, she walks outside and notices it sleeping on her step, and she picks the portly thing up.
The twerps continue looking with Ash standing in a tree, he learned much from Iris, and Bonnie comes up with another theory. Maybe it was so embarrassed by losing so bad to fucking Dedenne that it couldn't take it anymore and very slowly ran away.
Clemont blames himself, and assumes that it must have ran away because he forced it to battle so soon after eating. Well, that's a very logical theory. Serena tries to cheer Clemont up and decides that they should split up to look for it. Pikachu goes with Ash, Bonnie goes with Serena, Scoob goes with Shaggy and Velma, Daphne goes with Freddy and Clemont hoofs it alone.
Back in the old ladies house Porky wakes up and babbles excitedly at the smell of the Macarons she's cooking, later Clemont discovers that it is happily eating macarons with the old lady, and thus his suspicions are confirmed. It really did run away from him.
The gang reconvenes and Clemont tells the others the heartbreaking tale. He doesn't think it cares about him anymore so he left it where he found it, with the kind old lady.
Speaking of the kind old lady, while the tubster continues to gorge on Macarons suddenly her husband Wylie comes back, and the ol lady think there's something Heavy D can do for her, and it chokes on it's macarons as there's only 1 thing old people need help doing, and it doesn't want any part of that.
Wylie sits a trophy down as he comes in and declares that he won the village tournament. He spots the macarons and as he readys himself to eat one, "grandma", as he calls her, snatches the tray away, because he can't have any yet, not until he has a battle with her.
He knows that she doesn't have any Pokémon that can best his Delphox, but she announces her secret weapon, Chespin. He agrees, but on the condition that if he wins she;ll forgive him, but if she wins he has to apologize to her.
Oh my.
The two prepare to battle, Wylie sends out Delphox, a bi-pedal evolution of Fennekin. Wylie calls for a Will-O-Wisp and the lump can only bounce around as will-O-wisp connects and causes a huge explosion.
the twerps notice, and Clemont goes rushing back, and sees tubsy-wubsy in the middle of trying to outrun Will-O-Wisp. Grandma asks it to be strong and asks it to use Counter Attack, as she realizes she may just be a bit over her head trying to fight with a Pokémon that she just met, and doesn't even know the moves of.
The twerps catch up and see it in the middle of the battle with Delphox. "Delphox, the Fox Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Fennekin, when Delphox stares into the flame on the tip of it's branch to achieve a focused state, it creates a white-hot spiral of fire with it's Psychic power."
Bonnie tells Clemont to do something since Delphox is a Fire-type, Chespin is at a disadvantage, but he knows thaatChespin don't like him so he's hesitant to just run out and do something.
Wylie and Grandma have had enough of awkwardly standing around doing nothing as Wylie decides it's time to wrap things up, as Grandma Old Lady lowly whimpers, because she knows what happens if Wylie wins.
Wylie order a Flamethrower, and as Delphox reaches up to shoot the fire from it's branch the twerps look on in horror, a Pokémon using a Pokémon attack on another Pokémon? What lunacy is this? Ash gets ready to send in Pikachu to help, but Clemont runs instead, because apparently he's made of flame retardant skin.
As Delphox launches it's attack, Clemont blocks it with the arm that shoots from his backpack. Wylie realizing that he's just murdered some kid asks Delphox to stop immediately. But Clemont's fine, he checks to see if his load-bearing Chespin is alright, as the rest of the twerps join them.
Clemont apologizes to the lady and tells her that Chespin is his, and Wylie realizes that he's now the winner again. Grandma looks distraught, now Wylie going to do all kind of X-rated things to her, and probably forget the safe word of, then refuse to apologize for landing them back at square one, because huge-ass couldn't pull it out.
It looks at her sad face and decides that against all odds it's going to fight in her honor anyway, and Clemont ablidges by telling her that they do it, and that he's going to listen to Chespin's feelings more.
Grandma doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about, but is fine with whatever as long as he can kick Wylie's ass. Because he owes her an apology, goddammit!
Wylie and Delphox are fine with it as well, and they're ready to go.
Delphox opens with Will-O-Wisp and Clemont tells Roly-poly to dodge... by rolling. Clemont realizes that it's no good to make the sack of fat attack, so he'll make it dodge a bunch.
Wylie changes course and has Delphox use Flamethrower, and Clemont has the God of Lard still dodge by rolling. Wylie switches back to Will-O-Wisp, and Clemont continues his rolling strategy... and it appears to be working.
"It" being Chespin losing it's spare tire. That's right, Chespin got skinnier just by rolling around on the floor.
Well, move over Jenny Craig, it's the new weight loss sensation sweeping the nation, soon all of your overweight friends will be rolling around on the floor like idiots losing weight in record amounts of time.
Uhh... anyway, back to the battle, Clemont orders a Tackle, and Chespin moves with the quickness and smashes Delphox in the head. Chespin then uses Vine Whip but Delphox derisively slaps it away, and uses Flamethrower again, knocking Chespin back on it's ass. With no one making scaed faces because Delphox is about to murder Chespin now.
Clemont tells Chespin to get up because he believes in it, and suddenly Chespin start glowing green.
It's Chespin's special ability, Overgrow (Wasn't Overgrowing it's problem in the first place?) the ability makes Chespin's Grass-type moves more powerful when it's in bad shape, or about to get it's ass kicked. Chespin then uses Vine whip again and knocks Delphox's stick from it's hands.
Wylie is mad now, but announces he has a trick or two up his sleeve. He didn;t think he;d HAVE to use this move, but but he's gonna, there's no going back now.
Grandma warns Wylie about using "that" move, because it's too dangerous, and he knows it. Ash thinks it's a super strong move that could cause recoil damage. Wylie prepares to call for MYSTICAL FIII-ah, and breaks his back.
Delphox looks on at his poor foolish trainer as Ash gets it, it's Wylie who gets hurt, not Delphox. Since Wylie is in no condition to battle, they call it on account of old.
Later in the house, Wylie apologizes for getting the twerps involved in their sexy old people squabble. Apparently though, yesterday while they were eating Wylie snuck in a fat jab by insinuating that she's eating too much soup, or eating it too fast. It's not clear because he had the same amount of soup. Either way, she took his soup away from him that night, and I guess he starved.
Nice coverup, but we all know what really happened, and it had less to do with soup and more with sexy times with wrinkly skin, sweat, ropes and handcuffs.
The kids laugh at the weird old people nonsense, and grandma takes note of a box that's sitting on a chair. Apparently Wylie went out and bought her a big Cherry-topped cake. He got it so they could have make-up sex, and planned to apologize regardless of if he won or lost. She decides that the twerps should join along in eating Wylie's apology, while Wylie gets ready to eat something else.
Outside as everybody decides to give their goodbyes, Grandma tells Chespin how lucky it is to have Clemont as a trainer, and Clemont is surprised that Chespin doesn't actually hate him, and didn't in fact run away.
Clemont is glad to know that Chespin really does like him, and wishes they can be friends forever. They wave goodbye, and another happy ending for the twerps (and Wyline).
Also, Serena thought of more Pokémon to imitate, and wants to camp out, what Pokémon will she imitate? We'll probably find out when the journey continues.
...or probably not.
