Post by LUNI_TUNZ on Nov 8, 2014 22:28:44 GMT -4
After "winning" Professor Sycamore's crooked Summer camp tournament, the twerps have finally made it to Shalour City, where Ash will take on Korrina for his next badge. Ash is ready to battle right goddamn now, he doesn't even care about the...
Outside the Pokémon Center, that they were in and I neglected to mention, they see a giant phallic looking building in the middle of the ocean. It's the Tower of Mastery, and apparently houses the Shalour City Gym... but how do they get there? There's no bridge, and as Serena points out they can't walk there, because they're not Jesus, so it looks like Ash's Gym Battle Blue Balls will remain blue for another day.
As Ash makes the world know his displeasure, who should come skating by but Korrina and Lucario. Ash says he's ready to challenge her, though according to Serena he hasn't worked on a strategy yet. Korrina however has been training hard, and has beaten all challengers since they last met.
According to Korrina however, they can't get over to the gym, because the girl who lives in the middle of the ocean apparently doesn't own a boat, and they have to wait for the tide to leave.
Ash is super pissed about being denied, yet again, but Clemont reminds him that he can instead train, to burn off some of those excess hormones. Korrina figures she probably shouldn't watch Ash train, since she'll know what to expect, but Ash being a dummy says that he has no problems exposing his plans for his battle.
He lets his Pokémon out, and they all start doing the worst dancing you've ever seen in your life (EXCEPT FLETCHINDER), I guaran-damn-tee. And Ash, poor stupid Ash looks like he's drunk and trying to walk a straight line.
Clemont has a plan to make Ash's dancing better, with science. It's his "Not a Very Good Dancer Automated Good Dancing Device". It looks like an umbrella with bondage gear attached. It grabs onto Ash's limbs, and will supposedly allow him (someone with no rhythm) to move and groove.
He turns it on, and I don't care what they say, he sure as hell ain't dancing, Clemont turns it up and it reaches the logical conclusion and explodes.
Serena then decides that she's an excellent dancer and offers to teach Ash how. Why she couldn't have spoken up before, who knows?
Well, after hours of trying, and I'm assuming failing, Ash is tired out and nowhere closer to being a better dancer.
Clemont describes Ash in a nutshell by announcing that some people are good at some things, and not others, and they decide he probably should just drop the rhythmic battling strategy all together, so Ash decides to just give it all he's got instead.
Which is right on time, because according to Korrina they'll be able to get to the island soon. Apparently there's a path that appears once the tide leaves, but it looked pretty shallow before the water left, maybe they could have just walked? Whatever, anyway as Ash heads in to get his GODDAMN BATTLE GODAMMIT, he's stopped by Korrina's grandfather. Before he can challenge Korrina he has to listen to his story about Mega Evolution, that Korrina undercuts by calling "long" in the "goddamn it Grandpa, I've been sitting here three hours, when do you get to the part where you kill Hitler with your bare hands and get your medal from the President already?" sense.
They make it into the main room where a GIANT Lucario statue's crotch greets them. As he begins, he tells them one of his ancestors was traveling and training with his Lucario when they found two stones on the island, just sitting there out in the open. They both picked up a stone, and completed the world's first Mega Evolution, and ever since their family has lived there and and protected the island ever since.
Serena gives Korrina a big head about her Lucario Mega Evolving and says she's a good Gym Leader already, but Grandpa doesn't think so and isn't ready to pass down the scroll of secrets to her just yet.
The scroll of secrets, of course, being a family treasure that lists everything one needs to know to be a Gym Leader. That he keeps in a long rod, The twerps, not quite grasping that he's not even letting his own Granddaughter see it yet, ask to see his rod themselves.
Wow, what a plan, I'm sure Korrina never thought to just ask to see it.
Surprisingly, he doesn't allow these weirdo kids he has no relation to to see his family's most guarded secrets, before his own Granddaughter.
Well, anyway, Ash is hungies, and needs food for his tum tum. And Korrina decides that since it's already late, they can bum some free food and stay over night.
Speaking of unwanted guests, Team Rocket have somehow snuck inside and have their sights on the scroll of secrets. Surely something as dubiously named as that must be worth a fortune, and the Boss would love them for it.
During the night Team Rocket break into ol' Gurkinn's room and look around for the Super Secret scroll, but come up empty handed. Jesse almost breaks a vase and wakes up the old man, but Meowth luckily for them gets between the floor and the vase.
Well, it's not in his room, so it has to be around somewhere, Wobbuffet agrees loudly. They check the twerps' room, and still find nothing. Wobbuffet somehow gets the idea it might be in the statue somehow, and hell it isn't anywhere else, so might as well repel the giant statue for it. They reach into it's mouth... and out comes a long shaft, it's the scroll of secrets.
The statue is of course fitted with an alarm, so they're busted. But they already have the scroll, so decide to head off. The twerps finally wake up, and Ash looks DIRECTLY AT THEM and asks "who's there".
"Prepare for trouble, it's us of course!"
"And we're taking the scroll of secrets by force!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all people within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"and James!"
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now, or prepare for a not so secret fight!"
"Meowth, that's right!"
"WOOOOBBBBBBUUUUFFFFEEEETTTT!"
Jesse calls Ash slow, because he should have known it was them, especially since he was looking right at them when he asked who was there.
Gurkinn slowly runs up to get them, as Jesse admits she once had a school teacher like him. ...what? The twerps overtake him as Clemont similarly gives out.
For a distraction, James sends in Inkay to Psybeam the walk way, and destroys it right in front of Ash and Korrina, as she almost falls to her not death. Another Psybeam is disrupted by Pikachu's Thunderbolt as Ash and Korrina jump over the hole. Team Rocket make it outside and jump down to a waiting Happy Buddha Face Meowth balloon. Before they can take off, Pikachu destroys the balloon with Iron Tail, upsetting them because they weren't ready. Jesse sends in Pumpkaboo, and Korrina decides to take them both on herself.
Team Rocket aren't impressed and attack her at the same time. Lucario dodges Inkay's Psybeam, and bats back Pumpkaboo's Shadow Ball with Bone Rush.
They attack again, and even Meowth get's in on the action with Fury Swipes. Lucario easily dodges them again, and then Korrina Mega Evolves him. Jesse still isn't impressed and has Pumpkaboo go for another Shadow Ball, which Lucario again knocks back with Bone Rush, but this time it hits so hard that when Pumpkaboo lands on Team Rocket... it explodes, and sends Team Rocket blasting off again?
Yeah, sure.
The scroll of secrets also conveniently falls back into Korrina's hands, as she makes her grandpa very proud.
Bonnie still not grasping "family secret" asks to see it again, but Serena reminds that they're not allowed. But since they got him the scroll back, Gurkinn makes an exception and tells them what it says.
"Rule 1: Early to bed, and early to rise!"
"Rule 2: Eat in moderation, even if it's delicious!"
"Rule 3: Keep all of your belongings organized, and readily available!"
"Rule 4: Wash your hands several times a day!"
Hmm... the twerps aren't quite impressed with the secrets, he says it took him hours to write these rules, so Gym Leaders - who just happen to be his Granddaughter - could be at the peak of perfection, and as such it has absolutely nothing to do with Mega Evolution or his and Korrina's ancestors.
Oh, Gurkinn.
It's the next day and time for Ash's Gym Battle. Each trainer gets three Pokémon and as always only Ash can substitute. Korrina roller skates in, does some tricks and lands at her spot. It's the time we've all been waiting for, it's time for the battle...
NEXT WEEK!
GODDAMMIT!
BEST QUOTES:
Any slower and you would be talking backwards!
Outside the Pokémon Center, that they were in and I neglected to mention, they see a giant phallic looking building in the middle of the ocean. It's the Tower of Mastery, and apparently houses the Shalour City Gym... but how do they get there? There's no bridge, and as Serena points out they can't walk there, because they're not Jesus, so it looks like Ash's Gym Battle Blue Balls will remain blue for another day.
As Ash makes the world know his displeasure, who should come skating by but Korrina and Lucario. Ash says he's ready to challenge her, though according to Serena he hasn't worked on a strategy yet. Korrina however has been training hard, and has beaten all challengers since they last met.
According to Korrina however, they can't get over to the gym, because the girl who lives in the middle of the ocean apparently doesn't own a boat, and they have to wait for the tide to leave.
Ash is super pissed about being denied, yet again, but Clemont reminds him that he can instead train, to burn off some of those excess hormones. Korrina figures she probably shouldn't watch Ash train, since she'll know what to expect, but Ash being a dummy says that he has no problems exposing his plans for his battle.
He lets his Pokémon out, and they all start doing the worst dancing you've ever seen in your life (EXCEPT FLETCHINDER), I guaran-damn-tee. And Ash, poor stupid Ash looks like he's drunk and trying to walk a straight line.
Clemont has a plan to make Ash's dancing better, with science. It's his "Not a Very Good Dancer Automated Good Dancing Device". It looks like an umbrella with bondage gear attached. It grabs onto Ash's limbs, and will supposedly allow him (someone with no rhythm) to move and groove.
He turns it on, and I don't care what they say, he sure as hell ain't dancing, Clemont turns it up and it reaches the logical conclusion and explodes.
Serena then decides that she's an excellent dancer and offers to teach Ash how. Why she couldn't have spoken up before, who knows?
Well, after hours of trying, and I'm assuming failing, Ash is tired out and nowhere closer to being a better dancer.
Clemont describes Ash in a nutshell by announcing that some people are good at some things, and not others, and they decide he probably should just drop the rhythmic battling strategy all together, so Ash decides to just give it all he's got instead.
Which is right on time, because according to Korrina they'll be able to get to the island soon. Apparently there's a path that appears once the tide leaves, but it looked pretty shallow before the water left, maybe they could have just walked? Whatever, anyway as Ash heads in to get his GODDAMN BATTLE GODAMMIT, he's stopped by Korrina's grandfather. Before he can challenge Korrina he has to listen to his story about Mega Evolution, that Korrina undercuts by calling "long" in the "goddamn it Grandpa, I've been sitting here three hours, when do you get to the part where you kill Hitler with your bare hands and get your medal from the President already?" sense.
They make it into the main room where a GIANT Lucario statue's crotch greets them. As he begins, he tells them one of his ancestors was traveling and training with his Lucario when they found two stones on the island, just sitting there out in the open. They both picked up a stone, and completed the world's first Mega Evolution, and ever since their family has lived there and and protected the island ever since.
Serena gives Korrina a big head about her Lucario Mega Evolving and says she's a good Gym Leader already, but Grandpa doesn't think so and isn't ready to pass down the scroll of secrets to her just yet.
The scroll of secrets, of course, being a family treasure that lists everything one needs to know to be a Gym Leader. That he keeps in a long rod, The twerps, not quite grasping that he's not even letting his own Granddaughter see it yet, ask to see his rod themselves.
Wow, what a plan, I'm sure Korrina never thought to just ask to see it.
Surprisingly, he doesn't allow these weirdo kids he has no relation to to see his family's most guarded secrets, before his own Granddaughter.
Well, anyway, Ash is hungies, and needs food for his tum tum. And Korrina decides that since it's already late, they can bum some free food and stay over night.
Speaking of unwanted guests, Team Rocket have somehow snuck inside and have their sights on the scroll of secrets. Surely something as dubiously named as that must be worth a fortune, and the Boss would love them for it.
During the night Team Rocket break into ol' Gurkinn's room and look around for the Super Secret scroll, but come up empty handed. Jesse almost breaks a vase and wakes up the old man, but Meowth luckily for them gets between the floor and the vase.
Well, it's not in his room, so it has to be around somewhere, Wobbuffet agrees loudly. They check the twerps' room, and still find nothing. Wobbuffet somehow gets the idea it might be in the statue somehow, and hell it isn't anywhere else, so might as well repel the giant statue for it. They reach into it's mouth... and out comes a long shaft, it's the scroll of secrets.
The statue is of course fitted with an alarm, so they're busted. But they already have the scroll, so decide to head off. The twerps finally wake up, and Ash looks DIRECTLY AT THEM and asks "who's there".
"Prepare for trouble, it's us of course!"
"And we're taking the scroll of secrets by force!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all people within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"and James!"
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now, or prepare for a not so secret fight!"
"Meowth, that's right!"
"WOOOOBBBBBBUUUUFFFFEEEETTTT!"
Jesse calls Ash slow, because he should have known it was them, especially since he was looking right at them when he asked who was there.
Gurkinn slowly runs up to get them, as Jesse admits she once had a school teacher like him. ...what? The twerps overtake him as Clemont similarly gives out.
For a distraction, James sends in Inkay to Psybeam the walk way, and destroys it right in front of Ash and Korrina, as she almost falls to her not death. Another Psybeam is disrupted by Pikachu's Thunderbolt as Ash and Korrina jump over the hole. Team Rocket make it outside and jump down to a waiting Happy Buddha Face Meowth balloon. Before they can take off, Pikachu destroys the balloon with Iron Tail, upsetting them because they weren't ready. Jesse sends in Pumpkaboo, and Korrina decides to take them both on herself.
Team Rocket aren't impressed and attack her at the same time. Lucario dodges Inkay's Psybeam, and bats back Pumpkaboo's Shadow Ball with Bone Rush.
They attack again, and even Meowth get's in on the action with Fury Swipes. Lucario easily dodges them again, and then Korrina Mega Evolves him. Jesse still isn't impressed and has Pumpkaboo go for another Shadow Ball, which Lucario again knocks back with Bone Rush, but this time it hits so hard that when Pumpkaboo lands on Team Rocket... it explodes, and sends Team Rocket blasting off again?
Yeah, sure.
The scroll of secrets also conveniently falls back into Korrina's hands, as she makes her grandpa very proud.
Bonnie still not grasping "family secret" asks to see it again, but Serena reminds that they're not allowed. But since they got him the scroll back, Gurkinn makes an exception and tells them what it says.
"Rule 1: Early to bed, and early to rise!"
"Rule 2: Eat in moderation, even if it's delicious!"
"Rule 3: Keep all of your belongings organized, and readily available!"
"Rule 4: Wash your hands several times a day!"
Hmm... the twerps aren't quite impressed with the secrets, he says it took him hours to write these rules, so Gym Leaders - who just happen to be his Granddaughter - could be at the peak of perfection, and as such it has absolutely nothing to do with Mega Evolution or his and Korrina's ancestors.
Oh, Gurkinn.
It's the next day and time for Ash's Gym Battle. Each trainer gets three Pokémon and as always only Ash can substitute. Korrina roller skates in, does some tricks and lands at her spot. It's the time we've all been waiting for, it's time for the battle...
NEXT WEEK!
GODDAMMIT!
BEST QUOTES:
Any slower and you would be talking backwards!
