Post by LUNI_TUNZ on Oct 29, 2014 23:28:43 GMT -4
The twerps all stuff their faces full of that free food, as Sycamore tells the kids about tomorrow's event. It's Pokémon Orienteering... what?
As he explains it, it's essentially a race... an AMAZING RACE... an AMAZING POKéMON RACE.
Why not just call it that?
Teams race from checkpoint to checkpoint to get their cards stamped and race to the finish line.
Team Froakie and Team Squirtle are tied at 13 points each, and lead.... hey, wait a minute, their still not tied, and even if they were Team Chikorita was in the lead, but aren't even featured on the board. Goddammit, can no one do math here, and even if Team Chikorita are nameless, faceless contestants with no souls or families, they should be a bit more pissed about getting screwed over like this, now they're not even in the Top-3?
Some suspicious shit going on here.
Ash and Tierno get excited and claim those 10 points for themselves, which might not be too far off considering the points situation. Shauna continues the ruse by saying if they win, they'll be in the lead by 23 points, instead of 20.
Speaking of ruses, Jesse's ready to give up theirs and steal the kids' Pokémon while they're racing, but Meowth and James are too into their jobs, as Madame Catherine gives them another raise outta nowhere.
Looks like points aren't the only thing being thrown around willy-nilly. Jesse not being a complete idiot crunches the numbers and decides that putting the Pokémon stealing off another day or two can't hurt their bottom line.
The next day the children race... orient... whatever, and one of Sycamore's Sexy assistants checks in from the first point, apparently Team Froakie made it first, with Team Squirtle immediately behind, and I guess all the other teams failed when they stepped on the landmines they set at the starting gate.
The first challenge of The Amazing Pokémon Race is one member from the team has to show they have Nickelodeon Guts and rock climb the Aggro Crag and get their ticket stamped.
Tierno goes first, getting Squirtle to spin on it's shell on leap to a boulder and Tierno bounces from foot to foot and corkscrew jumps to the boulder, and then start leap-frogging their way up.
Not to be outdone, Ash being the Action Hero he is, climbs the wall, as Squirtle gets a bad grip, and falls. Tierno catches it, but then loses his balance and FALLS TO HIS DEATH on the craggy mountain... or he would if not for Ash having Froakie use his Frubbles to make a soft crash pad for Tierno.
This brings up an interesting dilemma, what happens to some kid who doesn't have Ash's Froakie to save him? Does he just die? The willingness of Sycamore and his assistants to send these kids marching to their deaths may explain why Team Chikorita is too afraid to bring up the scoring discrepency.
Either way, Ash has climbed the mountaintop, and stamps his card. But not before rubbing it in Tierno's face after sliding down the crag.
The twerps head to the second (I guess?) challenge, and are somehow trailing Shauna's team.
Speaking of Shauna, she's walking over a bridge with Bulbasaur constantly vine-whipping the rails for some reason as Serena crawls behind her, just like in her dreams.
Shauna gets her stamp and manages to run back and Serena is apparently super scared of the bridge, but somehow the twerps make it to the next challenge before Team Squirtle.
This challenge seems simple enough, walk into yet another mountain, and come out the correct door, and it's Clemont and Trevs time to shine as he and Bunnelby get the Chespin stamp.
They race to more oddly dangerous and unsafe challenge markers, such as swinging through vines and across a raging river.
With all the checkpoints clear, Sexy Assistant checks in to tell Sycamore that Team Froakie and Team Squritle are in first and second place. Just as Sycamore expected, that sexy point shaving bastard.
The twerps run into a deep fog, and Ash smacks her face right into a tree. Bonnie notes the fog is thick as she gets separated from the twerps. She calls for Clemont but this is special sound proof fog, so naturally no one hears the lost little girl, except Pikachu. While she's calling for her big brother a mysterious Pokémon walks behind her. When she turns around she notices a shadowy figure with rainbow colored antlers standing in her view, as flowers bloom in it's presence, and suddenly she's no longer worried about being lost, or afraid as Pikachu catches up to her.
She runs after it as it leaps off getting further lost. Meanwhile, Clemont has gotten behind Ash and Serena, and they're the ones to notice that Bonnie's gone missing. Clemont thought she was with them, and Ash realizes that Pikachu's gone as well.
Bonnie and Pikachu continue to run as team Squirtle notice the twerps standing around looking for Bonnie and Pikachu, they double back and decide to forgo the orienteering and help find Bonnie and Pikachu. Trevs notices TWO SET OF FOOTPRINTS IN THE SA... um, grass, and is able to determine that one of them is Pikachu's paw prints.
Ash sends Fletchinder ahead to find them, while the twerps go in the exact same direction by following the footprints, while Charmander lights the way with it's flame.
Bonnie continues making footprints, walking aimlessly in the fog and tugs on a vine in her way, a vine that happens to pull down a branch that smacks the head of a Beedrill sleeping in a tree pissing it off, because who else but Beedrill?
It charges them, and Pikachu manages to scared it off by Thunderbolting around it (but not specifically at it) and they continue to run away.
The twerps go until the footprints stop, and Bonnie's still running from the Beedrill that stopped chasing them. Bonnie jumps over a log and stops on the soft fleshy Pokéball colored thing below. They breathe a sigh of relief until realizing that it's an Amoonguss, and it let's loose with Spore.
They drowsily continue on, as Pikachu falls asleep as Bonnie walks forward over a ravine to her death... or not, as she falls on the head of a Drifblim. As the murder of Drifblim float about the ravine the one Bonnie's sleeping on gets bumped from behind by another in I guess an act of sexual intercourse for the balloons, dropping Bonnie to the other side of the ravine, straight on her head.
Ouch.
Fortunately little kids are Tonka Tough as she remains asleep showing no signs of damage.
Fletchinder has caught up, and goes back to sqawk it's name and report back to the twerps, on their way they piss off the same Amoonguss, as Squirtle sprays away the Spore with it's Water Gun. Ash and Clemont then combine Froakie and Chespin's Water Pulse and Pin Missile to wash the rest away. They apologize and head back on, this time not falling off the cliff.
They spot Pikachu, who's still asleep, and Fletchinder alerts them that Bonnie is on the other side of the ravine.
The twerps try to figure out how to get across, Clemont's Aipom Arm won't reach, but Trevs notices the murder of Drifblim and Drifloon. They try to figure out how to get the Ghost Balloons to help, surely asking them won't work, because Wild Pokémon are never willing to help, so they decide to startle them, then use their heads like a bridge.
She's Clemont's sister, so he volunteers, but Ash is the secret Action Hero here, so he decides to do it instead.
They startle the Drifblim by attacking NEAR them, and since Drifblim are such pushovers they don't attempt to attack back, as Action Hero Ash crosses the ravine to get to the other side.
Ash picks up Bonnie and a critical flaw in their plan is revealed as the Drifblim continue to float up and away. A gust of wind almost knocks him off balance and he barely gets traction on the last Drifblim, who is dangerously far from the side, and Ash takes a leap of faith... that doesn't pay off, as he misses the ledge. Pikachu, now awake jumps to grab him, and makes it, as Aipom Arm grabs him, just in time.
Bonnie now awake, and not dead tells the twerps about the Pokémon she just saw, and it shows up just behind the Twerps. Ash tries to check the Pokédex, but it leaps off never to be seen again.
And poor Trevs forgot to take a picture.
Back at the race, three teams have won their points, which will be ignored by the next episode. The twerps aren't too crestfallen, because they did get to see a rare Pokémon, and they also know that they aren't in any actual danger of losing.
