Post by Swampert on May 31, 2014 5:36:37 GMT -4
Sorry for being so late! Putting things together (finding the episode, finding the gifs, and writing the whole thing) took longer than I thought![embarrassed.gif] So, here goes!
JAPANESE NAME: マダムＸの陰謀！恐怖のカラマネロ！！ ENGLISH NAME: A Conspiracy to Conquer! MY ENTITLEMENT: Tables turned by an upside-down Calamari. DODGINESS RATING: 3/5 ANIMATION: 4/5 STORY: Team Rocket and Team Twerp get their asses kicked by an upside-down squid. TEAM ROCKET: Out of their minds, hypnotized or not. MORAL LEARNT: You don’t have to be creepy in order to be evil.
Somewhere, deep in a cave, Team Rocket are enjoying their time watching an illegally filmed video (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!), showing Ash’s Pikachu executing its attacks, one by one: Thunderbolt, Electro Ball, Iron Tail and Quick Attack (reteach it the good old Thunder, you dumbAsh!). And yes, unless the one being filmed is a celebrity or something, filming him/her against his/her will is illegal, and if you get caught, you must pay the penalty! They are praising Pikachu’s battling skills, and are certain that Pikachu NEEDS to be theirs! But first, they need to separate it from the twerp! Meowth says that those two are stuck together like glue (that doesn’t sound right!), and setting them apart is gonna be tough!
Meanwhile, a stupid cocky laugh is heard, and a hooded woman appears along with a squid whose face is on its ass-together with the tentacles. That thing looks like an upside-down Calamari with a small beak and messy hair who just woke up and got out of bed. Apparently, the woman with the weird squid have been spying on Team Rocket all along, and she says that this Pikachu would be indeed useful. Jessie, who is frequently seen with state-of-the-art spying machinery, tells the hooded woman that eavesdropping is bad manners, and demands her identity. The shady chick introduces herself as Madame X, and the what-the-fuck squid next to her is Malamar. Malamar then looses a mysterious yellow light.
What is going on here? Who actually is Madame X? What was that mysterious light? What does this all have to do with Team Rocket? What are they all planning deep inside that cave? Why does it smell more horribly when you fart in the shower? One thing’s for sure: These gals (yes, gals), along with their Pokemon, are going after Pikachu! So, the twerps have…
The twerps are walking through a forest, while Serena is looking at her Town Map (what happened to Clemont’s Town Map, anyway?), and says that in order to get to the Pokemon Center, they must pass through this forest. As they walk, Ash notices something in the distance and wonders what it is.
“Curiosity is a sign of intelligence and open-mindness”, said a great Philosopher… just now. But disregard him and his bullshit in this case, because Ash.
Clemont explains that it is a radio observatory. Serena seems clueless about radio observatories as well, so Clemont takes the time to explain that it is a facility that receives radio waves from outer space, then automatically analyses those waves, utilizing the latest state-of-the-art (this is redundancy!) technology equipment. Of course, Ash is way too Ash to get the slightest clue of what this is about (oh dear, he’s become a whole new species on his own!), all he knows is that it sounds cool. Just then, an injured Meowth comes out of the bushes, requesting for help, and collapsing immediately.
After a while, Meowth regained his consciousness, attempted to stand up, spotted “a ton of twoirps”, and got back down immediately. Clemont says that Meowth’s got to rest. He adds that Meowth’s got to stay down and take it easy. Then, he gives him his liquid, Meowth happily accepts, and when finished, he cries out: “Ah! Dat hit the spot!”. Calm down, guys! It’s just plain water! Can’t believe you people sometimes!
Meowth says that they saved his life, and he owes them big time! Of course, Bonnie, and surprisingly Pikachu are smart enough not to trust Meowth right away, and assume that he is trying to trick them again, (even though he may not mean harm this time). Dedenne doesn’t count, folks-it just unconsciously copies the emotions of its caretaker! Meowth came to warn them that they’re in danger! Ash wants to hear more, so an utterly terrified Meowth with teabags under his eyes explains them what he’s been through.
Back into the cave, through Meowth’s flashback, we see that Malamar’s mysterious yellow light was actually Hypnosis. Madame X had Malamar hypnotize Team Rocket, in order to make them her servants, and obey her every command, but to no avail. Our Team Rocket have been trained to obey one and ONLY ONE person, and that is their boss, even if he is standing somewhere in a faraway place, thinking to himself that he’s been utterly defeated! James and Jessie tried to fight back with Inkay and Pumpkaboo, respectively, but they both fell victims of Malamar’s Hypnosis. Malamar attempted to hypnotize the rest of the team a second time, brightening the hypnotic light that comes out of its chest. Meowth, however, had a plan to resist Hypnosis, which is... USING FURY SWIPES ON HIMSELF! Inflicting damage to himself somehow worked, and Meowth was able to get away from Hypnosis… But what about the rest of the team?!
They turned into zombies with creepy echoing robotic voices, and started obeying Madame X’s every command. Meowth tried to snap them out of it, but they wouldn’t listen to a thing! They went to get him, so Meowth freaked the fuck out and fled from the cave as fast as he could… and this is where the flashback ends.
Back to the present, Meowth tells the twerps that they can’t just stand there yappin’-Madame X is coming to get Pikachu! Serena started getting suspicious as well, which leaves only the boys completely clueless (Damn it, Clemont! I thought you were the smart guy of the group!). Bonnie insists that Meowth is trying to trick them, in order to steal Pikachu, to which Serena agrees.
Well done, Serena! I’ll admit; every person with functioning brain cells would be suspicious of their arch enemy, even though he may be telling the truth. The fact that you know Meowth for so little time compared to Ash gives you a bonus, as well! You sincerely have my respect.
Meowth, though, insists on telling the truth, and uses the old trick of “look at my Kawaii eyes!” As they talk, zombie Jessie, zombie James and zombie Wobbuffet suddenly appear, and order Meowth to hurry and catch Pikachu! After seeing Team Rocket, Ash and Clemont got all they needed to be suspicious of Meowth.
So, now we have a still freaked out Meowth, who proved to be right all along, with everyone against him. He makes another attempt to persuade the twerps that he’s telling the truth, and he’s on their side by telling them to look at Jessie’s and James’ zombie eyes.
All right, we’ve got the zombies, but we’re forgetting someone: Madame X and the stupid Calamari!
As the twerps are about to get the hell out of there, she appears! Madame X and her Malamar are now blocking their path! Serena takes the chance to make the smartest, most valid, and most fitting question anyone could ask in such a situation: “What kind of a name is X?”, while Bonnie is touching Serena’s crotch, with a very suspicious gesture and expression.
Ash, on the other hand, gets his priorities straight. Instead of fighting Madame X and the zombies, or fleeing at worst, he checks it with his Pokedex… First things first, I guess.
Malamar, the Overturning Pokemon, and the evolved form of Inkay. Possessing the strongest hypnotic powers of ANY Pokemon (even the Original Series’ Mewtwo?), Malamar can compel others to do anything it wants them to do. Meanwhile…
Look at this thing over here! Just by looking at its face, you can tell what it’s thinking: “Dude, I just got up and haven’t had mah coffee yet. Do I really have to do this shit?”
How is this thing creepy?!
Back on to the episode, Madame X is eager to take that Pikachu for herself, so she has Malamar use Hypnosis on the twerps. Meowth tells them not to look at that light, or else they’re screwed… Okay, he didn’t really say that, but, you get the message. And while Bonnie is still sticking to Serena’s crotch,
Ash orders Pikachu to use Electro Ball, in order to stop that Malamar. It does its job, and the twerps get a chance to get the hell out of there, before being stopped by the zombie Team Rocket, who got in front of them by using Psychic. They say that Pikachu will become a member of their Pokemon Patrol! What is Pokemon Patrol? It is an unstoppable army of Pokemon, destined to take over the world and put Madame X on the throne to rule it all! Also, zombie Wobbuffet attempts to hump Bonnie…
Clarification for idiots (This is exclusively for idiots; if you have at least one functioning brain cell, just ignore the following parenthesis): To any idiot out there who thinks the opposite, I am NOT sexualizing, or implying anything about Bonnie in any way, for Arceus’, or Helix’s, or whoever your God is’ sake! No, she is not a ho, she is not having oral sex with Serena, and she is not having anal sex with zombie Wobbuffet! They’re just harmless images! I just found these frames to be funny, so I put them here. For your information, fucking idiot, I am not that sick, I am not a pedophile, I am not a hypocrite, and I am not promoting gross fanart! Also, (fucking idiot,) take a look at The Dodgy Pictures Thread. You will see something related to this:
And before you declare all of us “sick bastards”, think about the ones who designed these frames. Is that clear?
Yes: Have a good day, sir/madam!
No: Put a toothpick under your toenail and kick a wall!
Clarification for idiots ends here.
Meowth steps in and says that using Pikachu to take over the woirld is just plain wrong, and Madame X, her Calamari and the zombies are nuts… Luckily, he immediately remembered that he and (normal) Team Rocket have been doing the exact same thing for 17+ years. As Meowth is drooling away due to this thought, Malamar takes Pikachu away from Ash’s shoulder using its Psychic, while Ash noticed that at the last second. Madame X correctly says: “Farewell, fools!”, while fleeing away with Malamar and the zombies. The twerps and Meowth chase after them for a while, but they were unable to catch up. So, what do we do now?
DEXTER TIME! The future is now thanks to science! Clemontic Gear, ON! Clemont says that he thought they would encounter a situation precisely like this one! Serena and Bonnie correctly question: “you did?!” If you think about it, Clemont apparently knew before the start of the series that he would go on a journey with a Trainer that owns a Pikachu, and that the Trainer’s Pikachu would get abducted at some point by a psycho and a bunch of zombies that want to take over the world, and he had a plan all along to counteract the situation! Is he really a part of this conspiracy? Is he an undercover spy? Does he have anything to do with Madame X’s Pokemon Patrol? Is the fact that he designed his invention to be Pikachu-like just a coincidence? Why do you NEVER manage to draw the & and ∫ symbols on your first try?
Ash, being Ash, is amused as usual, not exactly knowing the reason, and identifies Dexter’s invention as “Pikabot”, but Clemont has a better name for it; “the automatic Pikachu retrieval device”. Still, Bonnie is concerned more about the name rather than the device itself, and, for once more, she thinks the name is lame.
This device detects Pikachu’s unique energy pattern, and is able to track it EVERYWHERE, be it the furthest reaches of the land, the bottom of the ocean and even the expanse of the sky! No, I’m not exaggerating, that’s exactly what he said.
As Clemont praises science and its progress, the robot eventually picks up a signal, and presumably goes for Pikachu! Everyone goes after the device, while Meowth takes a chance to take a good look up Serena’s skirt:
Why is he so surprised, anyway?
Meowth eventually caught up, and, as there were no Beedrill chasing them, Dexter fell behind, wondering what’s going on up ahead. Well, the robot got stuck in a wire netting, and you all know what happened next… YAY KA-BOOM BOOM and afros. Clemont wants to believe that failure is the mother of success.
Yeah, tell that to the guys who are responsible for Windows Millennium, Windows Vista, and those who came up with the Maginot Line idea.
Some time later, Clemont tries to repair his robot, whose explosion apparently left a hole in the wire netting, which leads to the radio observatory they saw before. Bonnie then spots Officer Jenny’s motorcycle outside the observatory, but the officer herself is absent. Meowth suggests that since Clemont’s device brought them here, this place could be Madame X’s hideout! They decide to go in, but, to their ignorance, they are being watched by a robotic spy camera.
What’s with all these spy cameras in the Pokemon world being everywhere?
Inside the observatory, Malamar uses its Hypnosis on Pikachu, which turns it into a zombie-like creature, just like Team Rocket. Now, Madame X, who is sitting on top of a pile of trash (Hahahahaha! Is this the glorious Madame X’s throne they were talking about earlier?), exclaims: “Hah! Now you belong to me! CUM, PIKACHU! *Pikachu goes up that awesome throne, and stands right on her legs* Aah, good! *starts stroking Pikachu* I just know you’ll work very hard for me!” As Madame X was having a good time with Pikachu (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA ALREADY!), her zombie minions interrupted her fun to tell her that the twerps have invaded her hideout. They also informed her about their Pokemon; Chespin, Fennekin and Froakie, and suggested that she could make them her servants as well, to which Madame X agrees.
Meanwhile, the twerps decide to split up and look for clues; Ash goes with the chick and the cat, while the blonduo go together as siblings. Clemont is thinking about the probabilities of Officer Jenny being here, apparently not giving a shit about Pikachu, when suddenly a shadow of Malamar swiftly passes behind the blonduo, without them noticing. Blink an eye and you’ll miss it.
Now this is creepy!
Hey, remember Dedenne? That useless Pikachu (or Raichu, some would argue) clone? Good. In every episode, look VERY carefully about Dedenne’s usefulness, because you’ll hardly find any. Now, it got some; while the blonde siblings are lost in thought, Dedenne is the first one to spot Malamar, who’s standing exactly in front of them. Clemont lets his idiotic side get the best of him, and, instead of fighting back immediately, he asks if this is really Madame X’s hideout.
Damn it, Clemont! Obviously, Malamar may look and sound stupid, but it isn’t that stupid as to answer an obvious question, so, it does its job; it looses that yellow hypnotic light, and Clemont and Bonnie get high on Hypnosis.
(Sorry to steal your gifs, Don! You don’t own Pokemon, either!
)
Back to the other half of Team Twerp and Meowth, they haven’t found anything yet. Just as Serena wondered if Clemont has found anything, a zombie Clemont and a zombie Bonnie appeared behind a glowing meteorite, answering negatively. The zombies start approaching slowly, with Bonnie suggesting that they should continue looking together. Surprisingly enough, the twerps are smart enough to figure out that Clemont and Bonnie have been hypnotized as well, and they are terrified. Soon after, Malamar joins in and surrounds the remaining twerps, and attempts to hypnotize them, too. Ash is too dumb to send another Pokemon out in order to fight Malamar, and the only thing he can think of at the moment, is have Meowth use Fury Swipes on him, which he does. He also uses Fury Swipes on himself for a second time, in order to get away from Hypnosis, and now it’s Serena’s turn! Apparently, Serena would rather get hypnotized by an evil Calamari than have her “beautiful” face scratched.
Damn it, Serena! I praised you, I was on your side, you earned my respect from the start of the episode, and now this. Well done! Who cares if I’m being mind controlled by a malicious squid that wants to take over the world? As long as my face remains beautiful and unscathed, I am okay, and perfectly fine! Priorities, I guess. If that is not considered “Bimbo”, then what is?
Needless to say, Serbimba ended up being yet another victim of Malamar’s hypnotic powers, and turned into zombie as well. Ash and Meowth are the only ones remaining, and they’ve got to get outta here! Ash is trying to think of a way, when he notices a planet miniature hanging over above Malamar’s head/butt(?). He asks Meowth if he can cut that thing. Meowth says he has no problem cutting it, and goes for it. Serena, even under hypnosis, also goes for “it”.
Meowth successfully cuts the planet miniature, which goes down immediately, and is about to crash Malamar. It fails, though; Malamar throws it aside using Psychic. Ash and Meowth get a chance to run away while Malamar is distracted, which causes the goofy Calamari to wake up for a moment and let out a scream. The twerp and the cat keep running, until they finally reach the monitoring room, where Madame X resides, up on her trashy throne, made up of broken televisions and such.
There is one problem, though; in the room, along with Madame X, there are also zombie Team Rocket, their Pokemon AND zombie Pikachu, the latter of which attacks Ash with a Thunderbolt. Meowth let out for a moment his polite and concerning self: “Twoirp, are you okay?”
That’s why we love Meowth!
Ash still doesn’t get why Pikachu attacked him, and refuses to believe that the Pokemon with the most compelling hypnotic powers of all is able to do such a thing. Pikachu doesn’t give a shit, though; it just continues attacking with Quick Attack and Iron Tail,
while Ash somehow absorbs any of its attacks quite comfortably, better than an average Pokemon. The rest of the zombies-Clemont, Bonnie and Serena, along with Malamar eventually catch up, and tell Ash to give it up. No matter how he fights, he cannot resist Madame X. “The world now belongs to Madame X, with Pikachu and the Pokemon Patrol!” says zombie Clemont, and then four garage doors open to reveal a bunch of Pokemon, including a BEEDRILL! Really, how did they manage to find and capture a single BEEDRILL, rather than the whole swarm? Out of all the Pokemon there, Madame X prefers to finish this with zombie Pikachu, which attacks Ash with an Electro Ball, followed up with Thunderbolt, bringing him down to his knees.
Meanwhile, someplace outside, Clemont’s half-broken device is picking up signals from Pikachu’s Thunderbolt, which continues electrocuting Ash. Ash, as stubborn as he can get, is not giving up, and is struggling to approach zombie Pikachu. He succeeds, and as soon as he touched Zombiechu, it stopped attacking, much to Madame X’s surprise. Madame X orders Zombiechu to continue attacking the boy. Pikachu, however, is fighting Hypnosis, and the electricity it generates while suffering attracts the robot, which starts heading towards the radio observatory at high speed. While Pikachu is struggling, the Pikabot recklessly enters the room, and goes for it. Ash pushes Pikachu aside, and the robot hits Malamar instead.
This is your face when you spot a crazy out-of-control robot entering the room, and recklessly heading towards you at an unbelievable speed:
Okay, if this thing is creepy, then I am the assassinator of John Kennedy!
After being hit, Malamar goes down, cancelling its hypnotic powers. Madame X also goes down-she falls over her (literally) trashy throne, to reveal she is actually...
(Sorry again, Don!)
Officer Jenny! Yes, Officer Jenny had been Madame X the entire time! She got a report that strange things were going on here and went to “investigate”, and then she ran into that Malamar!
Typical Officer Jenny. Utterly useless, even troublesome in this case, easily manipulated by a NOT creepy Calamari, even after all those years of special training she’s supposedly been through (unless, of course, she became a member of the Police Force just because she was programmed to, along with her other soulless clones who were released out from the lab that created them, to the outside world, for who knows what reason), and now, she will get away with blaming everything on the squid, while not taking the slightest responsibility of her actions. Damn, even Team Rocket agents have been through more serious training! And then you wonder why they roam the Pokemon world freely for so many years.
Back on to the episode, Meowth translates Malamar’s bullshit. It says it’s been grateful to Officer Jenny for doing all its work for it.
If a sleepyhead upside-down Calamari who’s got its head on its ass is taunting you like that, you know you are doing something wrong.
Meowth continues translating; that’s how Malamar was able to start working on a new weapon!
…Well, shit.
Ash asks what it’s going to do with that weapon. Malamar replies that it’s going to take over the world, and that means they’ll be doing all the work for it, just like before. James does not approve of the idea, neither does Ash, so they have Inkay and Pikachu attack Malamar with Psybeam and Thunderbolt, respectively. Malamar hasn’t had its coffee yet, so it ain’t going anywhere, and it ain’t doing anything.
This is your creepy evil future ruler of the world, gentle Dodgers.
Malamar flees after taking the attacks, and the now normal twerps, Team Rocket, along with the useless Officer Jenny chase after it. They are eventually led inside a room that looks like the interior of a brain, a subcortex, a perimysium or something-I don’t know. This room is the new weapon, “this is how the new world (what kind of a new world?) starts, and that will only be the beginning of its evil grand plan”, translates Meowth. But, now that it’s been discovered, Malamar has to destroy the weapon right away! Then, a barrage of explosions starts, with Malamar stupidly laughing like a fucking moron at the idea of being killed with the explosion, and finally going into an eternal slumber, as it always desired.
Hang on a second here, Malamar just got out of bed, and now it’s going to sleep again?! Boo!
Ash, being Ash, tries to reason with the berserk squid, and tells it to stop. Officer Jenny cries out that it’s going to blow, and they’ve got to run, and they do so. The other wild Pokemon escape as well, and they all shield the twerps, Team Rocket and Useless Jenny from the huge explosion that follows soon after. Malamar is revealed to have gotten away from the explosion unharmed, and fled away into the sky. Clemont, Serena and Officer Jenny all wonder what Malamar’s words meant, while Ash calls the stupid squid “one scary Pokemon”. I won’t even bother to comment on this.
Some time later, Team Rocket are sitting on a rock exhausted, whining about how pathetic they can get (somewhere far away, Paul applauds), considering they were being controlled by a stupid Calamari like a bunch of robots. But, hey! There’s worse! Meowth reminds them that Malamar is the evolved form of Inkay, right?! Team Rocket immediately peed their pants because of this very thought, and they all look at the tiny, harmless Inkay in horror. Will Inkay ever evolve to be a malicious Malamar like the one they encountered? Will Ash ever get to the Cyllage Gym? Will Malamar ever return in the future? Will we ever admit that we all pee in the shower? Find out next episode, for the story is…
BEST QUOTES
Meowth: “Ah, dat hit the spot!”
Officer Jenny (as Madame X): “Hah! Now you belong to me! CUM, PIKACHU! Aah, good! I just know you’ll work very hard for me!”
JAPANESE NAME: マダムＸの陰謀！恐怖のカラマネロ！！ ENGLISH NAME: A Conspiracy to Conquer! MY ENTITLEMENT: Tables turned by an upside-down Calamari. DODGINESS RATING: 3/5 ANIMATION: 4/5 STORY: Team Rocket and Team Twerp get their asses kicked by an upside-down squid. TEAM ROCKET: Out of their minds, hypnotized or not. MORAL LEARNT: You don’t have to be creepy in order to be evil.
Somewhere, deep in a cave, Team Rocket are enjoying their time watching an illegally filmed video (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!), showing Ash’s Pikachu executing its attacks, one by one: Thunderbolt, Electro Ball, Iron Tail and Quick Attack (reteach it the good old Thunder, you dumbAsh!). And yes, unless the one being filmed is a celebrity or something, filming him/her against his/her will is illegal, and if you get caught, you must pay the penalty! They are praising Pikachu’s battling skills, and are certain that Pikachu NEEDS to be theirs! But first, they need to separate it from the twerp! Meowth says that those two are stuck together like glue (that doesn’t sound right!), and setting them apart is gonna be tough!
Meanwhile, a stupid cocky laugh is heard, and a hooded woman appears along with a squid whose face is on its ass-together with the tentacles. That thing looks like an upside-down Calamari with a small beak and messy hair who just woke up and got out of bed. Apparently, the woman with the weird squid have been spying on Team Rocket all along, and she says that this Pikachu would be indeed useful. Jessie, who is frequently seen with state-of-the-art spying machinery, tells the hooded woman that eavesdropping is bad manners, and demands her identity. The shady chick introduces herself as Madame X, and the what-the-fuck squid next to her is Malamar. Malamar then looses a mysterious yellow light.
What is going on here? Who actually is Madame X? What was that mysterious light? What does this all have to do with Team Rocket? What are they all planning deep inside that cave? Why does it smell more horribly when you fart in the shower? One thing’s for sure: These gals (yes, gals), along with their Pokemon, are going after Pikachu! So, the twerps have…
The twerps are walking through a forest, while Serena is looking at her Town Map (what happened to Clemont’s Town Map, anyway?), and says that in order to get to the Pokemon Center, they must pass through this forest. As they walk, Ash notices something in the distance and wonders what it is.
“Curiosity is a sign of intelligence and open-mindness”, said a great Philosopher… just now. But disregard him and his bullshit in this case, because Ash.
Clemont explains that it is a radio observatory. Serena seems clueless about radio observatories as well, so Clemont takes the time to explain that it is a facility that receives radio waves from outer space, then automatically analyses those waves, utilizing the latest state-of-the-art (this is redundancy!) technology equipment. Of course, Ash is way too Ash to get the slightest clue of what this is about (oh dear, he’s become a whole new species on his own!), all he knows is that it sounds cool. Just then, an injured Meowth comes out of the bushes, requesting for help, and collapsing immediately.
After a while, Meowth regained his consciousness, attempted to stand up, spotted “a ton of twoirps”, and got back down immediately. Clemont says that Meowth’s got to rest. He adds that Meowth’s got to stay down and take it easy. Then, he gives him his liquid, Meowth happily accepts, and when finished, he cries out: “Ah! Dat hit the spot!”. Calm down, guys! It’s just plain water! Can’t believe you people sometimes!
Meowth says that they saved his life, and he owes them big time! Of course, Bonnie, and surprisingly Pikachu are smart enough not to trust Meowth right away, and assume that he is trying to trick them again, (even though he may not mean harm this time). Dedenne doesn’t count, folks-it just unconsciously copies the emotions of its caretaker! Meowth came to warn them that they’re in danger! Ash wants to hear more, so an utterly terrified Meowth with teabags under his eyes explains them what he’s been through.
Back into the cave, through Meowth’s flashback, we see that Malamar’s mysterious yellow light was actually Hypnosis. Madame X had Malamar hypnotize Team Rocket, in order to make them her servants, and obey her every command, but to no avail. Our Team Rocket have been trained to obey one and ONLY ONE person, and that is their boss, even if he is standing somewhere in a faraway place, thinking to himself that he’s been utterly defeated! James and Jessie tried to fight back with Inkay and Pumpkaboo, respectively, but they both fell victims of Malamar’s Hypnosis. Malamar attempted to hypnotize the rest of the team a second time, brightening the hypnotic light that comes out of its chest. Meowth, however, had a plan to resist Hypnosis, which is... USING FURY SWIPES ON HIMSELF! Inflicting damage to himself somehow worked, and Meowth was able to get away from Hypnosis… But what about the rest of the team?!
They turned into zombies with creepy echoing robotic voices, and started obeying Madame X’s every command. Meowth tried to snap them out of it, but they wouldn’t listen to a thing! They went to get him, so Meowth freaked the fuck out and fled from the cave as fast as he could… and this is where the flashback ends.
Back to the present, Meowth tells the twerps that they can’t just stand there yappin’-Madame X is coming to get Pikachu! Serena started getting suspicious as well, which leaves only the boys completely clueless (Damn it, Clemont! I thought you were the smart guy of the group!). Bonnie insists that Meowth is trying to trick them, in order to steal Pikachu, to which Serena agrees.
Well done, Serena! I’ll admit; every person with functioning brain cells would be suspicious of their arch enemy, even though he may be telling the truth. The fact that you know Meowth for so little time compared to Ash gives you a bonus, as well! You sincerely have my respect.
Meowth, though, insists on telling the truth, and uses the old trick of “look at my Kawaii eyes!” As they talk, zombie Jessie, zombie James and zombie Wobbuffet suddenly appear, and order Meowth to hurry and catch Pikachu! After seeing Team Rocket, Ash and Clemont got all they needed to be suspicious of Meowth.
So, now we have a still freaked out Meowth, who proved to be right all along, with everyone against him. He makes another attempt to persuade the twerps that he’s telling the truth, and he’s on their side by telling them to look at Jessie’s and James’ zombie eyes.
All right, we’ve got the zombies, but we’re forgetting someone: Madame X and the stupid Calamari!
As the twerps are about to get the hell out of there, she appears! Madame X and her Malamar are now blocking their path! Serena takes the chance to make the smartest, most valid, and most fitting question anyone could ask in such a situation: “What kind of a name is X?”, while Bonnie is touching Serena’s crotch, with a very suspicious gesture and expression.
Ash, on the other hand, gets his priorities straight. Instead of fighting Madame X and the zombies, or fleeing at worst, he checks it with his Pokedex… First things first, I guess.
Malamar, the Overturning Pokemon, and the evolved form of Inkay. Possessing the strongest hypnotic powers of ANY Pokemon (even the Original Series’ Mewtwo?), Malamar can compel others to do anything it wants them to do. Meanwhile…
Look at this thing over here! Just by looking at its face, you can tell what it’s thinking: “Dude, I just got up and haven’t had mah coffee yet. Do I really have to do this shit?”
How is this thing creepy?!
Back on to the episode, Madame X is eager to take that Pikachu for herself, so she has Malamar use Hypnosis on the twerps. Meowth tells them not to look at that light, or else they’re screwed… Okay, he didn’t really say that, but, you get the message. And while Bonnie is still sticking to Serena’s crotch,
Ash orders Pikachu to use Electro Ball, in order to stop that Malamar. It does its job, and the twerps get a chance to get the hell out of there, before being stopped by the zombie Team Rocket, who got in front of them by using Psychic. They say that Pikachu will become a member of their Pokemon Patrol! What is Pokemon Patrol? It is an unstoppable army of Pokemon, destined to take over the world and put Madame X on the throne to rule it all! Also, zombie Wobbuffet attempts to hump Bonnie…
Clarification for idiots (This is exclusively for idiots; if you have at least one functioning brain cell, just ignore the following parenthesis): To any idiot out there who thinks the opposite, I am NOT sexualizing, or implying anything about Bonnie in any way, for Arceus’, or Helix’s, or whoever your God is’ sake! No, she is not a ho, she is not having oral sex with Serena, and she is not having anal sex with zombie Wobbuffet! They’re just harmless images! I just found these frames to be funny, so I put them here. For your information, fucking idiot, I am not that sick, I am not a pedophile, I am not a hypocrite, and I am not promoting gross fanart! Also, (fucking idiot,) take a look at The Dodgy Pictures Thread. You will see something related to this:
And before you declare all of us “sick bastards”, think about the ones who designed these frames. Is that clear?
Yes: Have a good day, sir/madam!
No: Put a toothpick under your toenail and kick a wall!
Clarification for idiots ends here.
Meowth steps in and says that using Pikachu to take over the woirld is just plain wrong, and Madame X, her Calamari and the zombies are nuts… Luckily, he immediately remembered that he and (normal) Team Rocket have been doing the exact same thing for 17+ years. As Meowth is drooling away due to this thought, Malamar takes Pikachu away from Ash’s shoulder using its Psychic, while Ash noticed that at the last second. Madame X correctly says: “Farewell, fools!”, while fleeing away with Malamar and the zombies. The twerps and Meowth chase after them for a while, but they were unable to catch up. So, what do we do now?
DEXTER TIME! The future is now thanks to science! Clemontic Gear, ON! Clemont says that he thought they would encounter a situation precisely like this one! Serena and Bonnie correctly question: “you did?!” If you think about it, Clemont apparently knew before the start of the series that he would go on a journey with a Trainer that owns a Pikachu, and that the Trainer’s Pikachu would get abducted at some point by a psycho and a bunch of zombies that want to take over the world, and he had a plan all along to counteract the situation! Is he really a part of this conspiracy? Is he an undercover spy? Does he have anything to do with Madame X’s Pokemon Patrol? Is the fact that he designed his invention to be Pikachu-like just a coincidence? Why do you NEVER manage to draw the & and ∫ symbols on your first try?
Ash, being Ash, is amused as usual, not exactly knowing the reason, and identifies Dexter’s invention as “Pikabot”, but Clemont has a better name for it; “the automatic Pikachu retrieval device”. Still, Bonnie is concerned more about the name rather than the device itself, and, for once more, she thinks the name is lame.
This device detects Pikachu’s unique energy pattern, and is able to track it EVERYWHERE, be it the furthest reaches of the land, the bottom of the ocean and even the expanse of the sky! No, I’m not exaggerating, that’s exactly what he said.
As Clemont praises science and its progress, the robot eventually picks up a signal, and presumably goes for Pikachu! Everyone goes after the device, while Meowth takes a chance to take a good look up Serena’s skirt:
Why is he so surprised, anyway?
Meowth eventually caught up, and, as there were no Beedrill chasing them, Dexter fell behind, wondering what’s going on up ahead. Well, the robot got stuck in a wire netting, and you all know what happened next… YAY KA-BOOM BOOM and afros. Clemont wants to believe that failure is the mother of success.
Yeah, tell that to the guys who are responsible for Windows Millennium, Windows Vista, and those who came up with the Maginot Line idea.
Some time later, Clemont tries to repair his robot, whose explosion apparently left a hole in the wire netting, which leads to the radio observatory they saw before. Bonnie then spots Officer Jenny’s motorcycle outside the observatory, but the officer herself is absent. Meowth suggests that since Clemont’s device brought them here, this place could be Madame X’s hideout! They decide to go in, but, to their ignorance, they are being watched by a robotic spy camera.
What’s with all these spy cameras in the Pokemon world being everywhere?
Inside the observatory, Malamar uses its Hypnosis on Pikachu, which turns it into a zombie-like creature, just like Team Rocket. Now, Madame X, who is sitting on top of a pile of trash (Hahahahaha! Is this the glorious Madame X’s throne they were talking about earlier?), exclaims: “Hah! Now you belong to me! CUM, PIKACHU! *Pikachu goes up that awesome throne, and stands right on her legs* Aah, good! *starts stroking Pikachu* I just know you’ll work very hard for me!” As Madame X was having a good time with Pikachu (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA ALREADY!), her zombie minions interrupted her fun to tell her that the twerps have invaded her hideout. They also informed her about their Pokemon; Chespin, Fennekin and Froakie, and suggested that she could make them her servants as well, to which Madame X agrees.
Meanwhile, the twerps decide to split up and look for clues; Ash goes with the chick and the cat, while the blonduo go together as siblings. Clemont is thinking about the probabilities of Officer Jenny being here, apparently not giving a shit about Pikachu, when suddenly a shadow of Malamar swiftly passes behind the blonduo, without them noticing. Blink an eye and you’ll miss it.
Now this is creepy!
Hey, remember Dedenne? That useless Pikachu (or Raichu, some would argue) clone? Good. In every episode, look VERY carefully about Dedenne’s usefulness, because you’ll hardly find any. Now, it got some; while the blonde siblings are lost in thought, Dedenne is the first one to spot Malamar, who’s standing exactly in front of them. Clemont lets his idiotic side get the best of him, and, instead of fighting back immediately, he asks if this is really Madame X’s hideout.
Damn it, Clemont! Obviously, Malamar may look and sound stupid, but it isn’t that stupid as to answer an obvious question, so, it does its job; it looses that yellow hypnotic light, and Clemont and Bonnie get high on Hypnosis.
(Sorry to steal your gifs, Don! You don’t own Pokemon, either!
)Back to the other half of Team Twerp and Meowth, they haven’t found anything yet. Just as Serena wondered if Clemont has found anything, a zombie Clemont and a zombie Bonnie appeared behind a glowing meteorite, answering negatively. The zombies start approaching slowly, with Bonnie suggesting that they should continue looking together. Surprisingly enough, the twerps are smart enough to figure out that Clemont and Bonnie have been hypnotized as well, and they are terrified. Soon after, Malamar joins in and surrounds the remaining twerps, and attempts to hypnotize them, too. Ash is too dumb to send another Pokemon out in order to fight Malamar, and the only thing he can think of at the moment, is have Meowth use Fury Swipes on him, which he does. He also uses Fury Swipes on himself for a second time, in order to get away from Hypnosis, and now it’s Serena’s turn! Apparently, Serena would rather get hypnotized by an evil Calamari than have her “beautiful” face scratched.
Damn it, Serena! I praised you, I was on your side, you earned my respect from the start of the episode, and now this. Well done! Who cares if I’m being mind controlled by a malicious squid that wants to take over the world? As long as my face remains beautiful and unscathed, I am okay, and perfectly fine! Priorities, I guess. If that is not considered “Bimbo”, then what is?
Needless to say, Serbimba ended up being yet another victim of Malamar’s hypnotic powers, and turned into zombie as well. Ash and Meowth are the only ones remaining, and they’ve got to get outta here! Ash is trying to think of a way, when he notices a planet miniature hanging over above Malamar’s head/butt(?). He asks Meowth if he can cut that thing. Meowth says he has no problem cutting it, and goes for it. Serena, even under hypnosis, also goes for “it”.
Meowth successfully cuts the planet miniature, which goes down immediately, and is about to crash Malamar. It fails, though; Malamar throws it aside using Psychic. Ash and Meowth get a chance to run away while Malamar is distracted, which causes the goofy Calamari to wake up for a moment and let out a scream. The twerp and the cat keep running, until they finally reach the monitoring room, where Madame X resides, up on her trashy throne, made up of broken televisions and such.
There is one problem, though; in the room, along with Madame X, there are also zombie Team Rocket, their Pokemon AND zombie Pikachu, the latter of which attacks Ash with a Thunderbolt. Meowth let out for a moment his polite and concerning self: “Twoirp, are you okay?”
That’s why we love Meowth!
Ash still doesn’t get why Pikachu attacked him, and refuses to believe that the Pokemon with the most compelling hypnotic powers of all is able to do such a thing. Pikachu doesn’t give a shit, though; it just continues attacking with Quick Attack and Iron Tail,
while Ash somehow absorbs any of its attacks quite comfortably, better than an average Pokemon. The rest of the zombies-Clemont, Bonnie and Serena, along with Malamar eventually catch up, and tell Ash to give it up. No matter how he fights, he cannot resist Madame X. “The world now belongs to Madame X, with Pikachu and the Pokemon Patrol!” says zombie Clemont, and then four garage doors open to reveal a bunch of Pokemon, including a BEEDRILL! Really, how did they manage to find and capture a single BEEDRILL, rather than the whole swarm? Out of all the Pokemon there, Madame X prefers to finish this with zombie Pikachu, which attacks Ash with an Electro Ball, followed up with Thunderbolt, bringing him down to his knees.
Meanwhile, someplace outside, Clemont’s half-broken device is picking up signals from Pikachu’s Thunderbolt, which continues electrocuting Ash. Ash, as stubborn as he can get, is not giving up, and is struggling to approach zombie Pikachu. He succeeds, and as soon as he touched Zombiechu, it stopped attacking, much to Madame X’s surprise. Madame X orders Zombiechu to continue attacking the boy. Pikachu, however, is fighting Hypnosis, and the electricity it generates while suffering attracts the robot, which starts heading towards the radio observatory at high speed. While Pikachu is struggling, the Pikabot recklessly enters the room, and goes for it. Ash pushes Pikachu aside, and the robot hits Malamar instead.
This is your face when you spot a crazy out-of-control robot entering the room, and recklessly heading towards you at an unbelievable speed:
Okay, if this thing is creepy, then I am the assassinator of John Kennedy!
After being hit, Malamar goes down, cancelling its hypnotic powers. Madame X also goes down-she falls over her (literally) trashy throne, to reveal she is actually...
(Sorry again, Don!)
Officer Jenny! Yes, Officer Jenny had been Madame X the entire time! She got a report that strange things were going on here and went to “investigate”, and then she ran into that Malamar!
Typical Officer Jenny. Utterly useless, even troublesome in this case, easily manipulated by a NOT creepy Calamari, even after all those years of special training she’s supposedly been through (unless, of course, she became a member of the Police Force just because she was programmed to, along with her other soulless clones who were released out from the lab that created them, to the outside world, for who knows what reason), and now, she will get away with blaming everything on the squid, while not taking the slightest responsibility of her actions. Damn, even Team Rocket agents have been through more serious training! And then you wonder why they roam the Pokemon world freely for so many years.
Back on to the episode, Meowth translates Malamar’s bullshit. It says it’s been grateful to Officer Jenny for doing all its work for it.
If a sleepyhead upside-down Calamari who’s got its head on its ass is taunting you like that, you know you are doing something wrong.
Meowth continues translating; that’s how Malamar was able to start working on a new weapon!
…Well, shit.
Ash asks what it’s going to do with that weapon. Malamar replies that it’s going to take over the world, and that means they’ll be doing all the work for it, just like before. James does not approve of the idea, neither does Ash, so they have Inkay and Pikachu attack Malamar with Psybeam and Thunderbolt, respectively. Malamar hasn’t had its coffee yet, so it ain’t going anywhere, and it ain’t doing anything.
This is your creepy evil future ruler of the world, gentle Dodgers.
Malamar flees after taking the attacks, and the now normal twerps, Team Rocket, along with the useless Officer Jenny chase after it. They are eventually led inside a room that looks like the interior of a brain, a subcortex, a perimysium or something-I don’t know. This room is the new weapon, “this is how the new world (what kind of a new world?) starts, and that will only be the beginning of its evil grand plan”, translates Meowth. But, now that it’s been discovered, Malamar has to destroy the weapon right away! Then, a barrage of explosions starts, with Malamar stupidly laughing like a fucking moron at the idea of being killed with the explosion, and finally going into an eternal slumber, as it always desired.
Hang on a second here, Malamar just got out of bed, and now it’s going to sleep again?! Boo!
Ash, being Ash, tries to reason with the berserk squid, and tells it to stop. Officer Jenny cries out that it’s going to blow, and they’ve got to run, and they do so. The other wild Pokemon escape as well, and they all shield the twerps, Team Rocket and Useless Jenny from the huge explosion that follows soon after. Malamar is revealed to have gotten away from the explosion unharmed, and fled away into the sky. Clemont, Serena and Officer Jenny all wonder what Malamar’s words meant, while Ash calls the stupid squid “one scary Pokemon”. I won’t even bother to comment on this.
Some time later, Team Rocket are sitting on a rock exhausted, whining about how pathetic they can get (somewhere far away, Paul applauds), considering they were being controlled by a stupid Calamari like a bunch of robots. But, hey! There’s worse! Meowth reminds them that Malamar is the evolved form of Inkay, right?! Team Rocket immediately peed their pants because of this very thought, and they all look at the tiny, harmless Inkay in horror. Will Inkay ever evolve to be a malicious Malamar like the one they encountered? Will Ash ever get to the Cyllage Gym? Will Malamar ever return in the future? Will we ever admit that we all pee in the shower? Find out next episode, for the story is…
BEST QUOTES
Meowth: “Ah, dat hit the spot!”
Officer Jenny (as Madame X): “Hah! Now you belong to me! CUM, PIKACHU! Aah, good! I just know you’ll work very hard for me!”
